24: Even shows that hinge on being unpredictable can become predictable in their unpredictability.
The Class: You can make a character gay, but you must never show his boyfriend more than a couple of times. Even when you’re written a character out, the weakest part of her storyline can carry on.
CSI: Is miles better than any other procedural show out there. Why does anyone watch anything else on Thursdays?
CSI: Miami: A bullet shot to the neck will give you brain damage. But it will only leave you mildly forgetful.
Heroes: Be careful not to turn mildly comedic characters into comic reliefs.
House: Sometimes, real-life events can cause the most random things to happen on-screen that are completely contrary to previous character development.
Lewis: It’s relatively easy to rip off Donna Tartt’s The Secret History. Also, any story that involves a character’s wife dying is enough to turn me into a blubbering wreck.
Lost: Flashbacks shouldn’t always be trusted.
Numb3rs: All black professionals come from the hood originally and have untrustworthy old friends.
Psych: No matter what happens, a “Psych-out” moment will never be funny or entertaining. Even the worst episode of any show can be improved by the mention of Airwolf and Jan-Michael Vincent.
Smallville: The producers must be killing themselves for not casting Allison Mack as Lana Lang in the first place. Michael Rosenbaum can direct his fellow actors well.
Studio 60: Watching Aaron Sorkin exorcise his personal demons is dull.
Supernatural: Sometimes, even stupid episodes can be smart. Also, every X-Files-like drama now needs to have a Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space’ episode.
The Unit: Lynn Mamet must write all episodes of this show from now on. She’s a far better writer than David.
