US TV

Review: Pretty Little Liars 1×1-1×3

Pretty Little Liars

In the US: Tuesdays, 8/7c, ABC Family

Sometimes, it’s really possible for TV to make you feel old. I remember watching an episode of Quantum Leap back in the early 90s while I was at university and thinking to myself, “Ah, isn’t that sweet? Donald Bellisario and Deborah Pratt have put their little four-year-old daughter Troian into an episode.”

Troian Bellisario is now 25 and one of the stars of Pretty Little Liars. In fact, of all the stars she’s the oldest.

God damn it. I’m officially old.

Pretty Little Liars is an attempt to somehow meld Gossip Girl with Vampire Diaries, with just a hint of Desperate Housewives. Based on the book series of the same name – which ironically was only developed in the first place when an attempt to create a TV show from the initial idea floundered – it features four pretty high school girls who were once the best of friends. That all ended a year ago, when the fifth member and leader of their group, Ali, disappeared one summer. A year later, one of the friends returns from a stay in Europe to find the group has fallen apart.

Yet something’s going to bring them together. Could it be Ali? If it is, why won’t she reveal herself and why does she keep sending them anonymous text messages? Worse still, is she going to give away all their secrets?

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US TV

Review: Persons Unknown 1×1-1×3

Persons Unknown

In the US: Mondays, 10/9c , NBC

A little while ago, AMC and ITV1 remade The Prisoner. It was awful, so awful in fact that I gave up after three episodes and didn’t even bother reviewing it. Not only was it very dull, it entirely failed to understand the original’s paranoia and themes.

This is quite a common thing to happen: after all Cape Wrath/Meadowlands was pretty much The Prisoner but with criminals. So you might think that The Prisoner could never be remade well.

Fortunately, it seems someone did understand The Prisoner and although Persons Unknown isn’t exactly The Prisoner, Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) has taken many of the elements that made the show work, and after crossing them with elements from computer adventure games, transplanted them into this summer mini-series.

So don’t stop me if you’ve heard this before: in Persons Unknown our heroine is gassed and abducted and wakes up to find herself in a quaint small town in America. The town is impossible to escape from, cameras are watching the whole time, and bar a couple of store owners – and some fellow prisoners – the town is entirely deserted. Mysteriously, no one knows why they’re there, only that they have to escape. But who can they trust and why do the people behind it all keep playing games with them?

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US TV

Review: Hot in Cleveland 1×1

Hot in Cleveland

In the US: Wednesdays, 10pm/9c, TV Land

The creators of Hot In Cleveland probably had a few alternative titles in mind for the show before they came up the current title:

  1. Women of a Certain Age – too close to TNT’s Men of a Certain Age?

  2. Cougar Town – oops, already done that.

  3. LA Sucks – might lose a few viewers with that one.
  4. We Wish They All Could Be Cleveland Men – Well, men weren’t going to watch anyway, were they?
  5. Go On, Women, Watch It, Just Watch It – There Are So Few Shows With Female Leads In It That You’ll Watch Nearly Anything, Won’t You? – That would be the network’s attitude at least.

But essentially, the cryptically-titled Hot In Cleveland refers not to the temperature there, but to the fact that a group of rich women of a certain age (Jane Leeves from Frasier, Wendie Malick from Just Shoot Me and Valerie Bertinelli of One Day at a Time/the Jenny Craig weight loss scheme) accidentally wind up in Cleveland. Used to being overlooked by men their own age in LA in favour of younger women, they’re surprised to find the men of Cleveland find them – a washed up actress, a book author and celebrity stylist – attractive.

Shock, and indeed, horror.

So desperate to be wanted and desired after their businesses collapse, husbands leave them, etc, they decide to move to Cleveland, where they end up watched over by their property’s caretaker, ex-Golden Girl Betty White (she’s so hot right now), while trying to find Mr Right/Old School.

Cue much hilarity.

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The CarusometerA Carusometer rating of 4

Third-episode verdict: The Good Guys

Time for a third-episode verdict on Fox’s The Good Guys, in which Colin Hanks and Bradley Whitford play a pair of ill-matched cops in dead-end jobs, who somehow always manage to end up doing something ‘explosive’.

Not much’s changed since the first two episodes except that the third episode has aired and it was quite dull. While the first two episodes were lifted by the presence of a charismatic and fun guest character, the third episode relied on the two central characters for humour. And there ain’t much in them, beyond the obvious – Bradley Whitford is old, inappropriate, ignores the rules and can’t deal with computers; Colin Hanks is uptight and pining after his ex-girlfriend. Not much to work with, is there?

While there’s a certain fun to be had in seeing how the generic property crime of the week (this week, vending machine vandalism) escalates into machine-gun fights, car crashes, etc, the Hanks/ex- relationship does have an appeal, and the time-jumping narrative device is clever, there’s not enough to be found in the other aspects of the show to sustain interest.

So despite the talent of Bradley Whitford and his fabulous moustache, I’m quitting after three episodes. If it gets better, let me know.

Carusometer rating: 4
Rob’s prediction: Won’t make it to a second season, might even be cancelled sooner