Review: Lincoln Heights 1×01

Lincoln Heights

In the US: ABC Family, Mondays, 7/6c

In the UK: Nothing yet, but probably The Disney Channel

What is it that makes a programme a “family programme”? Well, obviously there can’t be much swearing, sex or violence – can’t have kids knowing about that. Or anything else adult. Or that corresponds much to the real world.

It can’t be too complicated for the kids, either, or else they won’t get it. So it can’t deal with serious issues in a sophisticated way, no matter what it claims.

What to make then of Lincoln Heights? It’s The Wire, but for a family audience. How does that work then?

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US TV

Preview: 24 6×01-6×04

24

In the US: Starts Sunday, January 14th 8/7c, Fox

In the UK: Starts Sunday, January 21st 9pm, Sky One.

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: 1 so far

Major new characters: Loads. I’ve lost count. They’ll be dead soon, though.

Format change percentage: 10%. Jack!

Mancrush.

It’s a good word, isn’t it? It means the perfectly normal feelings of admiration and envy a completely straight, heterosexual, utterly non-gay man might feel for another completely straight, heterosexual, utterly non-gay man.

Apart from anything else, it’s good because it allows us men to make jokes about feelings we’re not comfortable with – which we all love, right, because manly men like jokes? – and it conjures up far fewer bad thought-scenarios than the phrase “homo-erotic stirrings”.

There are many legitimate targets for mancrushes. Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, Gordon Ramsay: all acceptable. Milo Ventimiglia in Heroes? Absolutely not. That floppy haired girl’s super secret superhero power is empathy, for Heaven’s sake. Real men don’t have empathy – everyone knows that.

Some mancrushes are acceptable at certain times but not at others. It’s perfectly acceptable, for instance, to have a mancrush on Captain Jack in Doctor Who. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to have a mancrush on him in Torchwood. It’s just unnatural at every level.

Then there’s Jack Bauer. Once a time, he was the ultimate mancrush. Any self-respecting man could say he wanted to stay in to watch Jack Bauer, because, you know, he’s just so hard and so dutiful and so stoic… The way he chopped off Chase’s hand and only cried about it later… Let’s face it, he’s just so sway, isn’t he?

But now, the first four episodes of the latest season of 24 have actually called this into question. Jack Bauer has become a girly-man.

Continue reading “Preview: 24 6×01-6×04”

US TV

Review: In Case of Emergency 1×01

In Case of Emergency

In the US: Wednesdays, 9.30/8.30c, ABC

In the UK: Not yet acquired

All of a sudden, there are a lot of “baby-men” dramas around. We started with The Class, in which various former school friends reunite after years of separation and discover that life has taken them in strange directions. But now we have another comedy that looks back nostalgically at High School and the life choices taken afterwards.

In Case of Emergency is also a comedy about losers, of which there are also a lot around (cf Knights of Prosperity). Despite the high aims and achievements of Jason, Harry, Sherman and Kelly at High School, only one of them has done well and that’s all about to end, too.

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US TV

Review: Dirt 1×01

Dirt

In the US: Tuesdays, 10pm ET/PT, FX

In the UK: Not yet acquired.

Courtney Cox has been lurking in a cocoon somewhere since Friends ended. She’s probably been doing something: a movie, some producing, maybe opening a restaurant. But this is her first TV series since everyone’s favourite perpetually re-run sitcom stopped making new episodes.

Dirt, which she exec-produces with her hubby David Arquette, could be construed as a slightly bitter show in which Cox gets her own back on those evil gossip mongers, the tabloids. In it, Cox plays the editor of two tabloids, one nasty, one nice. Together with her team of muck gatherers and a schizophrenic paparazzi, she dishes the dirt on the stars – to bad effect.

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