US TV

Review: Smallville 7.1

Smallville



In the US:
Thursdays, 8/7c, The CW

In the UK: On E4 and ITV2 at undertermined points in the future

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: Ooh, that would be telling

Major new characters: 1

Format change percentage: 0%

Number of superheros present: 3

Magic reset button? Where are you magic reset button?

What do you mean there isn’t one? That’s not right. This is Smallville. Every season ends with a massive cliffhanger, in which all the major characters are enperiled, Clark’s secret is revealed to everyone, etc. Then by the end of the first episode of the next season, everything’s back to normal again.

Actually, there is a mini reset button. After all, at least two characters died at the end of last season, so we couldn’t just leave them like that. You know: dead n’all. But apart from the necessary resurrections, not everything went back to the exact same place it was at the end of season six. Now that’s amazing.

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Five brief reviews for things that don’t deserve an entire entry to themselves

Am I having a crabby week, I wonder to myself?

Criminal Minds 3.1: Every year, I try this, just to see why everyone’s watching it. Every year, I still fail to comprehend why anyone would bother to surrender an hour to it, let alone an hour each week. It’s formulaic, tries to be smart while simultaneously being really dumb, and it has appalling acting. This episode was no different, although I have to admit the way they wrote out Mandy Patinkin was quite gutsy. Might watch it next week just to see what Joe Mantegna’s like as his replacement.

Flight of the Conchords 1.1: It’s been hyped to hell, so I thought I’d tune in and see what the hype was all about. It’s mildly amusing and the idea of including songs in it was slightly novel, but it’s really just The Office with New Zealand singer-slackers. Again, I might watch this next week, to see if it gets better. Does it anyone? And does anyone else like it?

Shark 2.1: Despite being the worst of the new legal shows last year, it’s the only one that’s survived. But again, it’s so formulaic, I don’t understand why. It’s the kind of show that bears no resemblance to reality, and explores every cliché in the book and then some. We have new characters introduced in the tried and tested manner (show them to be a bit of a maverick, set up a false conflict, then have everyone came round together and be friends by the end), and we have format changes to ensure that dramatic events have no effect. Plus James Woods is almost friendly, so the show’s lost any of the House-ian charm it might have aspired to.

Highlander: The Source: If anyone ever threatens to show this to you, stab out your own eyes so you’ll never have to. Absolutely appalling. Makes Highlander 2 look like a work of art. A few trace vestiges of good ideas in there, but so badly executed they’re swamped out of existence.

Bionic Woman: I’ve already reviewed the pilot. This revamped version was quite a bit better, so it might be worth sticking with. Most of the flaws are still there, though.

Oh well.

Over the weekend, I should be posting reviews of the season openers for Smallville, My Name is Earl and CSI, as well as the first episodes of Dirty, Sexy Money, Big Shots and Whistleblowers. I’ve seen them, it’s just a question of finding the time…

UPDATE: Criminal Minds copped out! Plus still no Joe Mantegna. Don’t tell me I’m going to have to watch another episode.

US TV

Review: The Unit 3×1

The Unit

In the US: Tuesdays, 9pm et/pt, CBS

In the UK: Probably Bravo or Virgin 1

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: 0

Major new characters: 0

Format change percentage: 50%

Number of families running America still its independence: Five

There’s a general assumption that the mainly excellent Bourne films have been a good thing. They made the Bond producers think twice about producing another piece of mindless rubbish; instead, they made the only slightly mindless Casino Royale.

Yet they appear to have had rather a bad effect of The Unit. Essentially a tale about the US’s Delta special forces group (with names changed to give the plots a certain leeway), The Unit trod a thin line between being a spy show and being a show about the army. While it could be escapist at times, it did try to attain certain levels of realism and it did this best when it focused on the army side of the characters.

But the surprisingly bad influence of Jason Bourne has finally had an effect on The Unit – and his fingerprints are all over the first episode of the third season, right down to the music, and they haven’t been planted this time.

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US TV

Review: House 4.1

House

In the US: Tuesdays, 9/8c, Fox

In the UK: Five, Five US, Hallmark, whenever they get round to it and have finished butchering the theme tune

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: Three (for now)

Major new characters: 30

Format change percentage: 30%

Number of deerstalkers worn: One invisible one

Oh dear. Another disappointment. That wasn’t very good.

With House’s staff having left for pastures new at the end of the third season, the temptation would have been to bring them all back in this season opener. That wouldn’t have been very realistic but it would at least have made it more interesting. Because it turns out that Holmes without his Watsons (even if he has his Wilson), just isn’t as interesting.

Wilson might be more interesting, Cuddy might be more interesting. But House without someone to insult is just a puzzle solver.

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US TV

Review: CSI: Miami 6.1

CSI Miami

In the US: Mondays, 10pm, CBS

In the UK: Five, Five US, Living, etc, whenever they get round to it

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: 0

Major new characters: 0.5

Format change percentage: 15%

New relatives: 1

Behold the Carusobot. All hail the Carusobot. It has returned. It stands at odd angles. It delivers bad lines slowly and oddly. It stands still and expects the whole world to move around it.

It is a miracle of modern science.

Compared to last season’s opener, which was a true idiot fest, albeit an extremely glossy action-packed piece of rubbish, CSI: Miami‘s sixth season opener was far more subdued and nowhere near as stupid. That’s not to say it wasn’t stupid at all, because it clearly was. It’s just lost a certain je ne sais quoi, a certain CSI: Miami-ish quality.

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