When last we left blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah Seventh Doctor blah blah Nazi scientist for companion blah blah.
Anyway, things went a bit pear-shaped – who saw that coming? – and now the Doctor has to fix it. Now, given Big Finish trilogies can vary between awful (the Charley Pollard/Sixth Doctor concluding trilogy, the Key2Time) and gradually improving (the Stockbridge trilogy), it was a bit of a gamble as to whether the final part of this "seven years in the making" story was going to end well.
So let’s take some bets.
Hands up everyone who thinks this is going to be a classic.
And hands up everyone who thinks it’s going to be a steaming lump of you know what.
If I just add that this also features Lenora Crichlow as a companion for the Doctor, who’s going to change their minds?
Final fact: it also includes a race of intergalactic sharks who wander around in water-filled armour.
Last chance. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
Well, it just so happens that it’s…
The year is 2044. Earth is enjoying a Golden Age of peace, prosperity and technological advancement… but somebody is plotting to destroy all that. The Selachians, shark-like alien monsters, launch a crippling attack on Earth’s Moonbase, using deadly weapons from the future.
Help is at hand. A police telephone box appears in a Moonbase hangar. A time-travelling hero has returned in the hour of Earth’s greatest need. Now, Elizabeth Klein must fight to save not only the Galactic Reich but Time itself from the mysterious prisoner who has orchestrated these fateful events… the Doctor
Is it any good?
… 50% not bad and 50% horrifically awful. Who didn’t see that one coming?
There is, at the heart of all this, a decent Man in the High Castle style story struggling to escape, albeit one that’s been a little too influenced by the Doctor Who Unbound story He Jests at Scars. Unfortunately, much of what surrounds it is dross.
Klein has changed the future and the past through countless uses of the TARDIS she’s nicked off the Doctor. The result is a glorious new Third Reich, although not the same as the one Klein came from.
In this alternative reality, the seventh Doctor is a prisoner but has been doing his best to subvert the Klein Reich, aided by companion Rachel Cooper (Lenora Crichlow). Now, stuck on the moonbase with Klein, he finds the Earth under attack by an alien race from the future. Can Klein trust the Doctor to help her defeat the sharks?
Now, there are some very nice ideas in the first episode or so, and the overall story, which is full on Seventh Doctor manipulation porn, is clever enough, even if the absolute end makes you feel like you’ve missed a trick – it’s more or less a magic "get out of this moral dilemma now" button with no real observable effect except suddenly you’re out of your moral dilemma and you’re not quite sure how.
But the shark aliens are dreadful. Lenora Crichlow gives a reasonable enough TV performance as Rachel "the companion who never was" Cooper, but a diabolical audio performance. Her possible love affair with someone else on the moonbase makes you wince more than dad-dancing at a wedding at every level. And the final two parts could easily be condensed down to one part thanks to their massive amounts of padding from running around and future Germans being heroic in the face of those dastardly yet strangely talkative and obliging shark men.
So, with the conclusion you always knew would come to the trilogy tacked onto a story that’s ineptly produced, directed and script-edited, it’s hard to recommend this. Sylvester McCoy might be on good behaviour for once, Tracey Childs may be an excellent Klein, but this is once again a fall at the last hurdle for another Big Finish trilogy.
Let us then finish with a poem
As warning to you all,
in case you haven’t learnt
don’t listen to a trilogy
because you’ll only get burnt.
Rubbish huh? Sorry. It’s beetter than Lenora Crichlow and the shark people of The Architects of History though, and it didn’t cost you a penny.
Sylvester McCoy (The Doctor)
Tracey Childs (Elizabeth Klein)
Lenora Crichlow (Rachel Cooper)
Ian Hayles (Sam Kirke)
Jamie Parker (Major Richter)
Lloyd McGuire (Generalleutnant Tendexter)
Chris Porter (Selachian Leader)
Rachel Laurence (Feldwebel/Computer Voice)
David Dobson (Pilot/Selachian)
Writer: Steve Lyons
Director: John Ainsworth