Best Torchwood fan fic ever: The Adventure of the Three Gay Unicorns

Read it and weep, authors. You’ll never better it.

“Buddy,” I announced (to the unicorn), “I’m gonna shoot you in the face!”

BLAM! That was the sound of my gun going off! I LOLed as the bullet slammed into the face of the commander unicorn. Rainbowy gay brain-matter flew out in all directions. His space-diamond tiara smashed against the floor in pieces, a symbol of his broken leadership.