The Media Guardian is reporting that Granada (aka ITV aka land of rubbish TV) is to remake The Prisoner. Given the current array of talent working for British TV, and in particular Granada, why do I know already that it’s going to be appalling, shallow, insipid and have nothing to say for itself other than “we really need some ratings”. I’m curious to know where they’re going to shoot it, now Portmeirion has been crossed off the location list. Somewhere around Manchester perhaps, Granada?
The Prisoner
I’ve been duped by ITV4
Fooled by all that pre-launch guff, I naively believed that ITV4 was in fact going to have the programmes and American imports it claimed. I’ve just checked the listings and discovered something incredible. None of that is true. In fact…
ITV4 is exactly the same as Bravo. But more than that, it’s Bravo circa 1996.
Here’s what I mean:
- Sunday: 3.15am UFO; 6pm Strange Report; 7pm Space 1999
- Monday: 6pm Man in a Suitcase; 7pm Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased)
- Tuesday: 6pm Return of the Saint; 7pm The Champions
- Wednesday: 6pm Department S; 7pm The Saint
- Thursday: 6pm The Adventurer; 7pm The Persuaders
- Friday: 6.30pm The Protectors; 7pm Jason King
That’s practically the entire ITC output of the 60s and 70s there. They’re short of Danger Man, The Avengers and The Prisoner, but hell, they’ve got The Champions so I don’t care. I’d watch The Persuaders for the theme tune, but it’s never been the same since I stopped watching the dubbed French version: Tony Curtis sounded so much better en fran?ɬ�ais.
To cap it all, they have First Wave, Andromeda and Alien Nation, as well as Alex Cox of Sid and Nancy and Repo Man fame essentially repeating his Moviedrome gig from the late 80s.
ITV4? Why not just call it “The Cult TV channel” and get it over with? If they ever broke Street Hawk out of the mothballs, I’d watch nothing else.