The Breaker Upperers
Film reviews

Orange Wednesday: The Breaker Upperers (2018), Hunter Killer (2018) and Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)

Every Wednesday, TMINE reviews two movies and infringes a former mobile phone company’s trademarked marketing gimmick

Orange Wednesday is back again and despite the format, it’s brought three movies along to be reviewed. Is that a breach of the rules? No, because one was so bad, I couldn’t get through more than half of it, so it isn’t technically a review.

Have a guess which of the three movies it is I couldn’t stomach very long:

  1. The Breaker Upperers (2018) – A New Zealand comedy in which two best friends run a business breaking up relationships
  2. Hunter Killer (2018) – Gerard Butler is a submarine captain who must avert a third World War
  3. Velvet Buzzsaw (2019) – Jake Gyllenhaal is an art critic whose live falls under the baleful influence of a haunted painting

You’ll find out the answer after the jump.

Continue reading “Orange Wednesday: The Breaker Upperers (2018), Hunter Killer (2018) and Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)”

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Das Boot
Film reviews

Orange Wednesday: Split (2016) and Das Boot (1981) + Polar (2019)

Every Wednesday, TMINE reviews two movies and infringes a trademarked former mobile phone company’s marketing gimmick

Would that I had a slightly larger brain, I’d have smartly introduced last week’s inaugural edition of Orange Wednesday by saying that I’d review two movies every week on Wednesday. Yes, a 2-for-1 movie offer called Orange Wednesday! Rings a bell, doesn’t it?

But I’m not. I’m also time-poor and lazy, so the prospect of watching two movies a week seems a bit of a stretch. But I’m going to give it a go.

In fact, if you look at the title of this week’s Orange Wednesday, you’ll notice I made a brave stab at watching three movies. Unfortunately, Polar was terrible so I gave up on it after about 10 minutes – I’ll tell you all about it after the jump, but technically, it’s not a review, since I didn’t finish the movie. I do have some editorial standards, you know.

After the jump, however, I’ll be definitely be looking at two movies that I’ve watched all the way through this week: M Night Shyamalan’s 2016 Split, starring James McAvoy, and Wolfgang Petersen’s 1981 theatrical cut of Das Boot. See you in a mo…

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Nightflyers
US TV

Review: Nightflyers 1×1 (US: Syfy; UK: Netflix)

In the US: Sunday-Thursday, 10/9c, Syfy
In the UK: Acquired by Netflix

Sometimes, two TV shows turn up at the same time and you wonder why. Are the networks stealing from each other? Are they tying into a trend? Or is it simply coincidence?

In the case of YouTube Premium’s Origin and Syfy (US)’s Nightflyers, I’m going to assume that it’s just coincidence that they’ve turned up within the space of a fortnight of each other. I mean two expensive-looking sci-fi/horror shows set on spaceships that slowly see their international, largely British casts slashed away by something gruesome? That’s not a trend. And why would you steal that idea?

Equally, Nightflyers is based on a novella written by George RR Martin (Beauty and the Beast, Game of Thrones) in 1981 and Origin is essentially Paul WS Anderson ripping off his own Event Horizon and Alien Vs Predator, so it’s not like there’s any real inter-show plagiarism going on. But there’s still a lot more in common than I’ve already mentioned, suggesting either a paucity of ideas in the world or a general consensus we’re heading towards a future dystopian nightmare.

Nightflyers

Nightflyers

Nightflyers is a generally superior affair compared to Origin that sees the world 50-odd years from now generally going to pot thanks to disease outbreaks and the like. Fortunately, there are spaceships and, equally interestingly, aliens, who might be able to help save us from self-destruction. At least, we think there are aliens, since a spaceship has popped into our solar system. However, despite our bombarding it with signals and probes from afar, the aliens haven’t said so much as a dicky bird in response and are merrily getting on with their lives instead.

Eoin Macken (Merlin, The Night Shift) therefore suggests sending a spaceship off to meet them, the only one within range and ready being the Nightflyer. He populates it with various futuristic sci-fi people: Jodie Turner-Smith (The Last Ship), who’s been genetically engineered for space travel; Maya Eshet, who communicates with the ship’s computer cybernetically; xenobiologist Angus Sampson (Shut Eye) and psychologist Gretchen Mol (Life on Mars, Chance).

However, there’s already a ship’s crew, including engineer Brían F. O’Byrne (The Last Ship, The Magicians, Brotherhood) and captain David Ajala (Falling Water), who for reasons best known to himself only appears as a hologram. Said crew isn’t too chuffed by the new arrivals and having their mission changed; they’re even less chuffed by having a “L-1 Teke” on board (EastEnders‘s Sam Strike) – a telepath who can make you think whatever he wants you to think, whether you like it or not, unless Mol administers him some suppressing drugs. But since the alien spaceship is giving off TK energy, it seems a good idea to take along someone who might be able to communicate with them.

Well, seemed, anyway. Because its not long after Strike turns up that everyone starts having nasty visions. And seeing as the first episode starts with a flashforward to Mol warning no one to rescue the Nightflyer and then slashing her throat, it seems it’s all going to go pear-shaped at some point. But why?

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The Last Ship
International TV

What have you been watching? Including The Last Ship and You

It’s “What have you been watching?”, your chance to recommend to fellow TMINE readers anything you’ve been watching this week

Another slow week this week. Only Amazon served up something new, which it hid very well: new German original Beat, which hopefully should be better than You Are Wanted. I was too busy watching Homecoming to start that so unless something better comes along this week, Beat will be getting the Boxset Monday treatment next week.

That means it’s just the regulars again this week, although even that number is about to start dwindling. After the jump, then, the latest episodes of DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Doctor Who, Happy Together, Magnum P.I. and Titans, as well as the returning Black Lightning. I’ll also be looking at the season finales of Pine Gap and You, as well as the series finale of The Last Ship. Will it all end well, and will there be any more promotions this week? You’ll find out in a mo…

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Tell Me A Story
International TV

What have you been watching? Including Tell Me A Story

It’s “What have you been watching?”, your chance to recommend to fellow TMINE readers anything you’ve been watching this week

It’s been a bit of a slow one, this week – yes, I’m talking about myself – but it’s also been a bit quiet for TV. I’m vaguely considering watching Amazon’s Homecoming, since:

  1. It stars Julia Roberts
  2. It’s from Sam Esmail (Mr Robot)
  3. Each episode is only about half an hour long
  4. I would have watched it last weekend, but I was away (!)

But that’s more or less been it for new shows, although I’ll be taking a look at the first episode of new arrival Tell Me A Story (US: CBS All Access) after the jump.

I’m sure the weekend will bring us something new, though. Gosh, if only there were a handy feature on this ‘ere blog that could tell me when new shows were starting

Time for the regulars, though. Black Lightning went on holiday this week, so after the jump, it’s DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Doctor Who, Happy Together, The Last Ship, Magnum PI, Pine Gap, Titans and You. There’s not one but two promotions in that list. Can you guess which ones will receive the TMINE blessing?

Continue reading “What have you been watching? Including Tell Me A Story”