US TV

Review: Kingdom 1×1 (US: Audience Network)

Kingdom

Mixed martial arts aka MMA is one of the fastest growing sports in America, and despite having come about thanks to the Ultimate Fighting Championship back in the 90s, it’s had relatively little fictional attention, bar Never Back Down, which is notable only for featuring both Amber Heard and the entire script for the Karate Kid but with karate crossed out and MMA written in instead.

Now we have Kingdom from the DirecTV-exclusive but generally unknown Audience Network, which despite only being two episodes in has already been renewed for two seasons, so clearly is doing something right. I’m not sure what though.

It stars Frank Grillo (best known now for Captain America 2, but previously the only normal person in monsterville in The Gates) as the owner of a Venice beach gym and a pro MMA fighter. He’s moderately pleased when former partner Matt Lauria gets out of jail and comes to train again and tries to help Grillo’s son and heroin addict Jonathan Tucker (The Black Donnellys) – only moderately, because Grillo’s now going out with Lauria’s ex-girlfriend Kiele Sanchez (The Glades). Cue much manly tension and bro-talks.

The best that can be said about Kingdom is that it’s competently made and not as meat-headed as you might think. Most of the show is about MMA training, with the now-compulsory monster truck tyres and sweat suit scenes, but the few proper MMA fights are pretty well handled. Being a jiu jitsu person at heart, they all seem a bit limited and silly to me but YMMV. The dialogue is bland and I doubt a single line registered as being interesting or insightful the entire time, with most being nondescript or occasionally offensive. Appropriate for the kinds of guy involved? Possibly. But this isn’t a realistic show so that’s not really an argument that passes muster. Either way, it’s certainly no Rocky, but it’s nowhere near as toxic as Never Back Down’s dialogue.

But against even those minor positives, I have to say it has a lot of flaws, including a whole set of characters whose appeal for most people is going to be extremely limited, as well as a massive woman-problem, with women only there as girlfriends, sex objects and plot motivators/characterisation tools for the men, rather than because the producers seem to think they have any intrinsic worth. I think I did manage to spot a couple of women in the gym who weren’t there serving a purely decorative function, but they didn’t get any lines, so I’m not sure they count – and they were largely offset by the naked, equally dialogue-less women elsewhere.

The ending (no spoilers) showed the programme’s other big problem: how it deals with the few blacks and Latinos it has. Despite the Los Angeles setting, there are no black characters in the cast and the only Latinos I spotted were women-abusing, murderous criminals. Lovely.

Oh well. Maybe someone else can come up with a decent MMA series instead. Because this isn’t it.

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Random Acts

Random Acts: Amber Heard dyes Jonny Depp’s hair, Scarlett Johansson gets busy with the fizzy

The battle between various actresses to be as random as possible is hotting up, but it looks like one of them just gets random in a way that the others don’t. Amber Heard, for example, has randomly decided to get Jonny Depp to dye his hair blond.

Amber Heard and blond Jonny Depp

How odd.

But Scarlett Johansson demonstrates once again that she’s the best at knowing how to bewilder us all by becoming the global brand ambassador for SodaStream.

Scarlett Johansson and SodaStream

Amazing. Who can top that?

Random Acts

Random Acts: Scarlett Johansson plays charades, Ali Larter goes boar hunting and Amber Heard… God knows what Amber Heard is up to

Scarlett Johansson plays charades on Jimmy Fallon's show

Normally, Scarlett Johansson would clean up in the ‘random acts’ stakes by her slightly random decision to play charades with Jimmy Fallon, Tariq from The Roots and Drake. I mean, who would have seen that coming?

She even tried to do interviews in a New Jersey accent for an extra bit of random.

But surprisingly, Ali Larter came out of left field to temporarily steal the lead by talking about her experiences of boar hunting in Germany:

“It was a very traumatic experience for me. But it’s ceremonial, and they roast it and it’s a whole thing. So I did try it.”

And, again, normally that would be enough to get our Ali the title in the random prize fight. But then Amber Heard, currently here in London – Brixton to be exact, obviously relishing our delightful Autumn weather as she films an adaptation of Martin Amis’s London Fields – decided to bring along an entourage so random, it blew everyone else out of the water.

Amber Heard filming London Fields in Brixton

No, I have no idea what’s going on here.

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