Fifth-episode verdict: Flash Gordon

Flash Gordon's Carusometer4-Major-Caruso

Well, you can’t say I didn’t give it a chance. I hung in there for five episodes. To be fair, Flash Gordon has got a lot better since episodes one and two, which were pretty appalling.

But even with three straight episodes in a row that were officially “not that bad”, according to The Carusometer, thanks to improved characterisation, more exploration of Mongo (there are Hawkmen now!) and better humour, it’s still a bit on the tat side. It’s the kind of programme that you’d end up with if you took up a couple of teenage boys, thrust a camcorder into their hands and said “Here, shoot a science fiction series. You’ve two days, $100 and all the babes and iMovie effects you need.”

It is amusing. It is starting to overcome its problems. But it’s still nothing remarkable. If it maintains its current levels, it could be a diverting way to spend an hour at most – kind of like something shown during a “the worst of Stargate” evening.

The Medium is Not Enough hereby declares Flash Gordon is a 4 or “Major Caruso” on The Carusometer quality scale. A Major Caruso corresponds to a show that David Caruso might exec produce or star in. After channelling all the effects budget into buying the most powerful trailer in the world for himself, he will use glove puppets to depict the denizens of the alien world. Production will have to be stopped when, after insisting he do all the stunts because he’s a “world class athlete”, he finds he needs a body double to do the far too taxing “going upstairs” scenes.

Questions and realisations from television this week

Project Runway: How exactly is Sky One managing to show season three of this already, when it isn’t going to air on Bravo in the US until October or November? How much is it going to annoy US viewers if the results are announced in the UK before they’re announced in the US?

Psych: Have you noticed that people don’t talk about television much on television, even though it’s quite a big chunk of many people’s conversational lives? While you’ll occasionally get a reference to an old show or one that’s made up, you very rarely get mentions of current shows, particularly ones on other networks, too. There are exceptions to this or else Toby wouldn’t have to struggle with all those ‘zonks’. But large numbers of references, as with Friday’s Psych, to Nanny 911, Jake and the Fatman, et al, do make you realise those mentions are few and far between.

Burn Notice: Verisimilitude is a hard thing to pull off, even when it’s with an area that most people don’t know a lot about. Case in point: Burn Notice. It’s been trying really hard to be authentic, although with decreasing success each week (IRA ‘guerilla’? Oh really?). This week was its biggest major fluff so far, when it referred to ‘false flag’ as the name for forged ID, when it’s actually recruiting people into spying or stealing critical documents, by convincing them that they are working for a friendly government or their own government (cf Wikipedia, which is actually accurate on the subject). Still, it does a good job most of the time.

Interestingly, it appears to be quite high budget for the USA Network, judging by its guest stars: Lucy Lawless this week, I think Richard Schiff is on the way very soon, and we already have Bruce Campbell and Sharon Gless in the roster of regulars. Couple that with the cost of filming in Miami, which has gone sky-high thanks to insurance premiums caused by all the hurricanes and we can see that USA is actually putting some effort into it.

Friday’s extra marmalade news

Doctor Who

  • David Tennant advises Scottish acting students to give Taggart a call

Film

Music

British TV

US TV

Thursday’s marmalade sandwich news

Paddington Bear



Doctor Who

  • Which BBC Wales employee just got a £10,000 bonus?
  • The Sarah Jane Adventures starts on the 24th and there’s a preview at Off The Telly [minor spoilers]

Film

Commercials

  • Paddington’s back and he’s giving Marmite a try

Music

British TV

US TV

New stuff on Joost

Must be some an odd coincidence or something. Just as I finally scribbled something about Joost yesterday, I get an email today telling me about new channels on the aforementioned Internet TV software.

Paramount UK (sorry US readers) now “offers over 30 full-length classic films. Sci-fi’s served up with Star Trek IX: Insurrection. There’s timeless sophistication with Breakfast at Tiffany’s; and tension and thrills with Patriot Games, The Hunt for Red October and Fatal Attraction.” Might I also recommend Shane, The Parallax View and Chinatown?

And Alliance Atlantis now has “Lexx, Total Recall and Earth: Final Conflict”. Incidentally, that’s the rather good Blade Runner-esque Total Recall 2070, not the Arnie movie – which I always liked cos of Sharon Stone, but that’s me.

Now all I’ve got to do is find the time to sit in front of a computer to watch all this stuff – an iPod video is a very handy thing, you know…