The Channel 4 show Ultraviolet is a classic TV show. A slightly forgotten classic that’s now a horrifying 23 years old, but a classic. As I’ve explained elsewhere.
Minute for minute (sorry, Buffy, you had some wonderful episodes, but you had a lot – perhaps even whole seasons – that definitely weren’t wonderful), I doubt there’s ever been a better modern horror show (or at least modern vampire show) than Ultraviolet.
You can take my word for that, or you can just go and watch it on All 4.
What you absolutely should not do is watch the US pilot episode. It might have Idris Elba reprising his role from the UK show and Mädchen Amick from Twin Peaks et al. But that’s never going to be enough to make it any good.
It’s “What have you been watching?”, your chance to recommend to fellow TMINE readers anything you’ve been watching this week
Why won’t the pain stop?
That’s this week’s common TV theme, since I’ve been catching up on Dopesick (US: Hulu; UK: Disney+) and I tried watching The Wheel of Time (Amazon).
The former, which looks at the origin of the opioid addiction epidemic in the US, continues to be both exceptionally good and disturbing. I can’t really add much to my original review, since the next episodes merely continue the story that started in episode one. But the acting’s great, the direction is great, the writing’s great. It’s downright terrifying, too.
The latter, however… Oh boy.
Now… I really am not a fan of fantasy books in general. Or fantasy TV shows. But I managed to make it through an entire season of The Shannara Chronicles and two episodes of The Witcher, and I’ve watched some good fantasy movies in my time, too, so it’s not like I’m totally allergic to them.
But Holy Hell, this was just awful. Painful awfulness of a new, mind-numbing level. I knew from the outset it was going to be bad, thanks to a voiceover explaining the plot in which basically bad things have happened in some medieval time and it was down to some magic ladies to fix things.
“Moiraine, a member of a magical organization, takes five young people on a journey, believing that one of them might be the reincarnation of the Dragon, a powerful individual prophesied to save the world or destroy it.”
Basically.
But I held out hope that having Rosamund Pike star in the show might make it better somehow. She couldn’t. It’s just so bad. So astonishingly dull! So many young actors who just can’t act reciting lines that remind you that someone’s parents wasted a lot of money sending their child to a film school to learn how to write. Every single thing that happened, every image, every design choice and everything anyone said was just the worst cliché of the genre.
If you make it to the end of the episode, I’ll assume that you’ve genuinely got nothing better to do with your life or that you’ve been paralysed, stuck propped up in bed facing the TV and that you genuinely couldn’t switch the channel, no matter how much you wanted to. Those are the only reasons. Really.
If this trailer doesn’t make you break out in hives, I’ll assume that you’ve taken an anti-histamine pill recently.
Still, at least Hawkeye starts on Disney+ on Wednesday. That might numb the pain.
Firstly, a huge – just immense – apology to all TMINE readers for my absolute and complete failure to review any movies over the past few weeks. I’m so, so sorry! My boss is on holiday, and I’ve had zero time to do anything except do his and my job this whole time.
I hope I’ll have some time this week to review the new movies I’ve watched, but if I don’t, here are some one-line reviews so that you get a sense of whether they’re worth watching or not, IMHO:
The Harder They Fall (2021) (available on Netflix): Western featuring Black characters who really did exist, even if the story is made up. It tries hard to be a Quentin Tarantino movie, just without the N word, and has some very literate dialogue and great performances. It’s just not very interesting. Or maybe I just don’t like Westerns? 🤷♀️
Red Notice (2021) (available on Netflix): Ryan Reynolds is an art thief, the Rock is an FBI profiler who catches him, but they have to team up to capture the world’s best art thief, Gal Gadot. It’s hugely expensive and has a simply fabulous pedigree in virtually every regard, from the cast through to the writer/director and the amazing locations they go to. There’s also a great twist. It’s big problem? It’s just so formulaic, it feels like the plot came from the pull out page at the back of a GCSE revision aid.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (in cinemas): first good sequel to the original Ghostbusters (1984). It’s a little bit too much of a sequel for its own good, retreading too much of the first movie, but it’s surprisingly good and even had me crying at the end. It’s also as much a retread of Goonies (1985), as it is Ghostbusters.
Russian Film Festival 2021
Talk about low key! BFI Player has apparently been running a Russian Film Festival for the past two weeks and didn’t bother to tell me. What are the BFI and Roskino’s marketing people thinking? No press releases or anything! Look at my name! Look at my job! And I only found out about it at the weekend.
Fortunately, it runs until 10 December, so there’s still plenty of time to watch everything and if you sign up for the free trial and subscribe using the code they give you, you get an extra month free (it’s only £4.99 a month anyway), so you can watch them all for nothing! Isn’t that the best thing?
The Siege of Leningrad, the Bolshoi Theatre, Leo Tolstoy and Konstantin Stanislavski may all be familar elements from Russian culture and history, but their representations amid these startling ten features are anything but. This collection of new features – many of which only played Russian cinemas as recently as this year – showcase the impressive range and originality of contempoary Russian filmmaking. While festival favourites like Aleksey Fedorchenko and Andrey Zaitsev may be known names to some, there are number of notable debut features here from prodigious new talents, waiting to be discovered.
Russian Film Festival 2021 runs from 12 November – 10 December 2021 and is organised in collaboration with ROSKINO, a state organisation representing the Russian audiovisual content industry internationally with the support of the Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation and the Russian Cinema Fund.
Here’s the rundown:
Masha (2021)
A Siege Diary (2021)
Tell Her (2021)
Last ‘Dear Bulgary’ (2021)
The Story of an Appointment (2018)
The Conscience (2021)
The Bolshoi (2017)
Doctor Liza (2020)
The Humorist (2019)
I’ll be watching all of these and hopefully covering them in the TMINE Multiplex, in their own post or even individually, since December should be lovely and work-light for me – yes, I will be reviewing things again (yay!) – but for obvious reasons (look at my hair, look at my age), I had already seen Masha, which is a lovely and quite simple piece told in flashback about a young girl growing up in Russia in the 90s and discovering that the friends and family who’ve been looking after her are the new wave of gangsters that have emerged since the end of communism. It’s a mix of violence and coming-of-age story that’s deceptively uncomplicated, yet packed with emotion and shows the gradual decline into lawlessness over the period. The young star, Polina Gukhman, gives a wonderfully expressive performance and steals the movie. Loved it!
It’s “What have you been watching?”, your chance to recommend to fellow TMINE readers anything you’ve been watching this week
My, there’s some rubbish on at the moment, isn’t there? That’s even with Disney+ day kicking in last week to give us a whole range of new shows on ‘Star’ (TV-wise: Dopesick but that’s it, to be fair).
To be fair (again), there are some returning old shows out now, such as Total Control. I just can’t muster up the enthusiasm to watch them. Honestly, if I’m not feeling excited at the thought of a show coming back, what’s the point in watching it?
Still, I’ve done my best to find something – anything – worth watching. Here’s what I’ve found, but what have you been watching?
The Shrink Next Door (Apple TV+)
How a seemingly normal dynamic between a charming psychiatrist and a longtime patient morphs into an exploitative relationship filled with manipulation, power grabs, and dysfunction.
Rob says: ‘Just stop it, Apple TV+. Just stop it’
Long-time readers are possibly aware I’ve completely given up watching UK TV. Every time I decide to give it a second/239th chance, I either start watching something that’s immediately, obviously total awful – or I get caught up in it, watch three or four episodes, and then discover the final episode is obviously total awful and has made watching the rest of it completely pointless.
I’m almost at that stage with Apple TV+.
Honestly, I’ve tried a lot of the TV shows and so far, there have only been two that have been worth it: For All Mankind and Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet. And the second seasons of those were both decidedly underwhelming.
I barely made it to the end of episode one of this four-parter. It’s possible it’s because I was lured into watching it, thinking that with Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell starring, Kathryn Hahn co-starring, it was going to be funny.
It’s not. It’s horrid. This is comedy actors trying to do dark and edgy in the style of Foxcatcher (2014).
Argh!
Credit where it’s due: there are, as with all Apple TV+ series, some amazing production values and cast. It looks fabulous, particularly on a 4K TV screen with an Apple TV, which is probably half the point of making it.
But did I enjoy even one minute of it? No.
The first episode can basically be summed up as follows. It’s 2010. Therapist Paul Rudd is hosting a party for his friends. Will Ferrell (obviously Will Ferrell, even though they’re trying to hide his face) then smashes it all up after everyone’s gone to bed. Possibly because he wasn’t invited.
We then flash back to the 80s when Ferrell is getting over a divorce and has just taken over his uncle’s drapery business. He’s having panic attacks so it’s up to his sister (Hahn) to help him run the business and his life. She suggests seeing a family friend: Rudd. This is probably a bad idea, given Rudd’s approach to therapy.
Were there laughs? No. Was it just something that made you feel sorry for all the characters, while admiring yet another recreation of the 80s? Yes.
Ferrell and Rudd do pull some funny faces and try to deliver their lines comedically. Often, they shouldn’t be doing this. But they do. That still doesn’t make you smile. It does make you feel sorry for both of them, as actors and their characters.
Even at 30 minutes an episode and four episodes – so short not just for a mini-series but for a movie – this felt too long and a waste of time. Maybe it’s just because it’s another of those “based on a podcast” shows that I disliked it. Maybe it’s the entire genre I dislike. I don’t know.
Lovely Wife and I both tried to watch it. After five minutes, Lovely Wife gave up on it, saying that it was too much like a dark indie movie for her taste. I agreed with her, but watched the rest of the episode later. It was still too much like a dark indie movie for my taste, too.
But I’m really struggling to work out who would like it, since it’s quite poor by the standards of dark indie movies. You’re welcome to try working out who would like it, if you want.
Here’s a trailer. While you’re watching, imagine it doesn’t have the comedic, quirky soundtrack, more something akin to a funereal hymn. That’s what the show is actually like.
Mayor of Kingstown (US: Paramount+)
A crime drama about an important contemporary issue, America’s prison system, “Mayor of Kingstown” follows the McLusky family in Kingstown, Mich., where the business of incarceration is the only thriving industry. The family of power brokers between police, criminals, inmates, prison guards and politicians tackle themes of systemic racism, corruption and inequality. The crime thriller series provides a stark look at their attempt to bring order and justice to a town that has neither. The cast includes Jeremy Renner, Dianne Wiest, Kyle Chandler and Derek Webster.
Rob says: ‘Ignore what I just said. This was good’
I’ve just been talking about how I dislike dark and gritty, etc. Honestly, what’s the point? But Mayor of Kingstown is actually pretty good and even enjoyable.
The plot summary above is more or less all you need to know, but it has an authenticity to it and an attention to small town details that reminded me of Brotherhood. You won’t learn a lot about life in prison that you didn’t already know from it. But far more interesting is the show’s depiction of the borderline/completely illegal economy, power-broking and interchange between politics and the prison system in this particular small town.
I was expecting to hate it for all the usual reasons, including Jeremy Renner (who appears to be developing a big TV career now). But Renner was good, the rest of the cast were good, the writing was good, the cinematography was good. It’s a good show.
The female roles are rubbish, even Dianne Wiest’s, but that’s what we’ve come to expect from dark moody, gritty crime shows, particularly those written by Taylor Sheridan (Yellowstone).
I should warn you that you should watch the title sequence and credits carefully, as it’ll be fairly obvious to you that anyone who isn’t in those titles and gets an ‘and’ in the credits is either going to be in it very little or get written out quickly (no, no clues). The first scene even tells you exactly who’s going to get written out, so pay attention – and don’t get attached to anyone who isn’t Jeremy Renner. I only say this because people have complained.
Another show that’s good enough that I might watch episode two.
Look all these lovely things! What a great way to start the new year!
With special guests including director Oliver Stone (PLATOON, JFK), director Joanna Hogg (THE SOUVENIR PART II), Ricky Gervais and cast of AFTERLIFE, the cast and crew of FRESH MEAT, writer and director Romola Gari (AMULET), director Déo Cardoso (A BRUDDAH’S MIND), critic and broadcaster Mark Kermode, comedian and broadcaster Adam Buxton and more
BFI Southbank begin 2022 with seasons dedicated to Francois Truffaut and David Bowie
The BFI will kick off 2022 with a celebration of iconic French filmmaker FRANÇOIS TRUFFAUT, with a major two month season at BFI Southbank, BFI Distribution re-releases of THE400 BLOWS (1959)and JULES ET JIM (1962) and more. Also in January will be BOWIE: STARMAN AND THE SILVER SCREEN, a month-long season dedicated to actor and performer DAVID BOWIE,coinciding with what would have been his 75thbirthday; includes screenings of THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH (Nicolas Roeg, 1976), MERRY CHRISTMAS MR. LAWRENCE (Nagisa Ōshima, 1983), THE HUNGER (Tony Scott, 1983) and many more. Also in January, the BFI will present an epic ode to the spirit of adventure and to the achievements of explorers – TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH: EXPLORATION AND ENDURANCE ON FILM; the season marks 100 years since the death of Anglo-Irish explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton, and the symbolic close of the ‘heroic age’ of Antarctic exploration.
On 14 January BFI Southbank will welcome Academy Award-winning director, screenwriter and producer Oliver Stone for a special In Conversation event, where he will discuss his memorable and thought-provoking work such as PLATOON, JFK, NIXON, WALL STREET and BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY. Regular event MARK KERMODE LIVE IN 3D AT THE BFI, in which critic and broadcaster Mark Kermode is joined by surprise guests from across the film industry to explore, critique and dissect current and upcoming releases, cinematic treasures and industry news, will this month take place on 17 January, with guests to be announced soon.
BFI Southbank will host a pair of must-see TV comedy events in January. Firstly, there will be a preview of the third season of Ricky Gervais’ poignant comedy AFTERLIFE (Netflix/Derek Productions, 2022) on 6 January. This event will include a preview of the first two episodes from the final season, as well as a chance to hear from Ricky Gervais and the cast, who will take part in a Q&A following the screening. From its first episode, FRESH MEAT broke new ground thanks to its cripplingly self-aware yet heartfelt portrayal of university life, shaped loosely by writer-creators Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain’s own experiences together in Manchester. On 15 January, BFI Southbank will mark the 10th anniversary of the show with a special event featuring archive clips and a Q&A with actors Jack Whitehall, Zawe Ashton, Joe Thomas, Kimberley Nixon, Greg McHugh and Charlotte Ritchie, as well as the writer-creators Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain.
Film previews in January will include BFI-backed THE SOUVENIR PART II (Joanna Hogg, 2021), in which film student Julie is picking up the pieces in the aftermath of her tumultuous relationship with the enigmatic Anthony. Beautifully expanding on Julie’s personal and creative coming-of-age journey, THE SOUVENIR PART II is an exquisite, sensational concluding chapter that also stands alone as a singular piece; the preview on 17 January will be followed by a Q&A with director Joanna Hogg. There will also be a Woman with a Movie Camera powered by Jaguar preview of Romola Garai’s directorial debut AMULET (2020) on 21 January followed by a Q&A with writer-director Romola Garai; this moody, intensely unsettling horror-thriller is bursting with haunting imagery and gruesome scares, and stars Carla Juri, Imelda Staunton and Alec Secareanu. Also in January, BFI AFRICAN ODYSSEYS present the UK Premiere of A BRUDDAH’S MIND (2020) on 22 January, followed by a Q&A with director DéoCardoso. Based on real events, this political drama follows a Black student, Saulo, inspired by the Black Panthers, who challenges his school in the largely white city of Fortaleza. Despite a calm and articulate demeanour, Saulo’s teachers describe him as a delinquent and try to expel him, but he isn’t alone in his struggle against racism and fascism in Brazil. Also returning in January will be the LONDON SHORT FILM FESTIVAL (LSFF), the programme for which will be announced soon.
