Last night’s The F-Word: Gordon Ramsay’s lesbian wedding

The F-Word: The Marines

Remember that episode of Friends where Ross’s ex- gets married to her girlfriend? Joey stands around looking useless because all the guests are gay so his ‘powers’ don’t work.

Last night’s The F-Word was Gordon Ramsay’s lesbian wedding.

Gordon likes to alpha male a lot. He likes to be macho. He likes to shout and swear. Maybe not as much as he used to, but deep down, he wants to be top dog.

But last night, he couldn’t use his ‘powers’ either. The Appletons and Blatts in the kitchen didn’t cock up badly with the cooking, so he had nothing to shout about.

Then he went on a Royal Marines endurance course and discovered that even though he’s run nine London marathons and a couple of double marathons, there are different kinds of fitness and the Marines are all a lot fitter than he is, even the recruits.

When he tried to take the piss, look what happened (above).

Oh dear. As the saying goes, no matter how hard you think you are, there’s always someone harder than you.

Then, of course, there was his guest. Normally you can see Gordon trying to out-man his guest. This time, though, his guest was Liam Gallagher.

Liam Gallagher on The F-Word

It’s like The Clash of the Titans, isn’t it? Or maybe Godzilla vs Mothra with that haircut.

Who would have won had there been a giant swearing match? Unfortunately, we’ll probably never know, since Gordon decided to be reasonably deferential and Liam put him in his place every time Gordon tried to stray.

And who was his celebrity cook this week?

David Blunkett on The F-Word

Not even Gordon’s got the balls to rip the piss out of the blind on tele. At least, not too much.

It’s on Channel 4 again on Friday at 11:10pm if you missed it and want to see Gordon neutralised.