Review: Blade 1×1 (US: Spike TV; UK: Bravo)

As you all know from yesterday’s blog, Bravo has bought the rights to air Blade: The Series in the UK. The first episode aired on Wednesday on Spike TV in the US. I’ve watched it and can now reliably inform you that it isn’t that good. Did you see that one coming?

Starring Kirk ‘Sticky’ Jones (aka Sticky Fingaz), presumably because he knows a little kickboxing and looks a bit like Wesley Snipes, Blade is a continuation of the movies. I would elaborate about the pilot’s plot but it adds nothing that you haven’t seen in the Blade movies already, bar the introduction of the series’ new characters: an Asian guy to help Blade; the big bad English vampire villain (Neil Jackson, last spotted in Sugar Rush); and a woman (Jill Wagner, a commercials model in her first acting role) who’s looking for the people who killed her brother. Naturally, those people turn out to be the vampires. Then – shock, horror – she gets turned into a vampire. Oh what will Blade do? What a dilemma!

But no one will actually be watching Blade for anything other fights and potential girl-on-girl lesbian vampire action so why waste time on plot description? Let’s get down to the ‘important’ stuff.

  • Martial arts: pretty average; some very obvious wire work; mostly kickboxing with a couple of locks added for good measure. Where’s Wesley with his capoeira when you need him?
  • Girl-on-girl action: not much at all – just a vaguely implied desire to kiss at one point. Sorry guys. Jill Wagner’s quite good looking though if that’s any consolation.

So basically, 90 minutes of wasted time. Naturally, though, the pilot got the highest ever ratings for Spike TV for an original series premiere, with 2.5 million tuning in. Tune in next week for more of the same.