Joanna Page

Thanks to Joe Bua for pointing this one out to me: it’s a list by The Guardian‘s Anna Pickard of the Top 10 TV celebrities (real or fictitious) to be trapped in a lift with. I’m not sure whether that means all at the same time or in 10 separate lift-trapping incidents, but meme of the week is to list your 10 celebs, either in the comments below or at your own blog, leaving a link below.

Here are mine, in no particular order:

1. Dr Tom (from Being Erica): he’d have solved all my troubles, provided a quote for the occasion and created an exit door from the lift, all before the emergency services got there.
2. Joanna Page: to keep our spirits lifted and to fill us all with a sense of happiness in case Dr Tom didn’t show up. Plus she’s only 5’1" so she wouldn’t use up much oxygen. And just because.
3. Derren Brown: who’d convince us it was all in our minds
4. Neil Burnside (from The Sandbaggers): because whatever needed to be done, he’d do it, no matter what the personal sacrifice was or who he had to kill to do it, as long as it was in Britain’s best interests. 
5. Stephen Fry: because all such lists have to include Stephen Fry and for the conversation, even though he’d use up twice as much oxygen as everyone else – except Joanna Page who, now I think about it, can talk like the clappers when she’s nervous.
6. Peter Parker: because, well – I know this is a secret but – he’s Spiderman, and thus obviously very useful in such situations.
7. Ali Larter: just because. And because she’s very fit, which is always useful in a "scaling your way out of the lift and up the cable" scenario. And who knows? Maybe she does have super powers. Which would be useful (see 6). But mainly just because.
8. Jill Goodacre: because then I could call Joey and tell him about it in our secret code.
9. Tina Fey: because she’s bloody funny, and it’s better than being stuck in a lift with Sarah Palin.
10. Jonathan Creek: because he’d find the secret panel at the back that would let us all out. Bloody Creek. Why didn’t he tell us about that sooner?

If 10 seems like too many, you can just name a few instead. Or if you’d like to be trapped with more, fair enough, although remember the oxygen and weight issues.

I have actually been stuck in a lift in real life – in the Hoover Dam, halfway up, with 40 other people, in the dark, without aircon, for nearly an hour. Electricians had to abseil down the lift shaft to rescue us. It wasn’t fun, and I didn’t get to choose any of the people in the lift with me.