UK TV

Review: Ashes to Ashes 1×1

Ashes to Ashes

In the UK: Thursdays, 9pm, BBC1
In the US: Not yet acquired

1981! Brilliant! Much better than 1973.

I loved 1981. I may only have been eight at the time but it seems to have left a lasting impression on my musical tastes among other things. So what could be better than Life on Mars in 1973?

How about a sequel, Ashes to Ashes, set in 1981? That’s got to be great hasn’t it?

Or has it?

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UK TV

Review: Torchwood 2×4 – Meat

Gwen and Rhys

Last week, I mocked Helen Raynor as being a fun-bereft, tedious, issue-loving, “save the whale” kind of a woman. I had no evidence for this. I was probably being very unfair.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the next episode, by last season’s stalwart of quality Catherine Tregenna, would literally be a “save the whale” episode. Okay, “save the space whale”. Either I’m immensely perceptive and intuitive (unlikely) or the universe likes to have little jokes with itself. Who knew the universe read my blog, though?

Seeing as I’m on a roll with the unfair stereotypes, I’ll give them another go this week.

Now Torchwood might well be set in Cardiff, be brim-full of Welsh actors and be made by BBC Wales, but apart from Rusty’s initial quips about CSI: Cardiff and kebabs in the first episode, there’s not really been much that’s Welsh about it.

Last night’s episode, however, was very Welsh. Apart from the Welsh flag in the back of Rhys’ van (which all self-respecting Welsh people have with them at all times. I live in SE London and I can spot the other Welsh contingent on my estate from 200 metres away, since they’re flying not one but three flags, two of them indoors) and the 120dB domestics (cf Wind Street in Swansea of a Friday night), we had the very essence of Wales summed in the plot: what would happen if an alien animal landed in Cardiff? Would the Welsh greet it cordially? Would they bomb it? Would they conduct evil experiments on it?

No. They’d turn it into a pasty.

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UK TV

Review: Primeval 2×4

Primeval

Ah, ITV. How dearly it loves to imitate the Beeb. That goes right down to the scheduling, including messing around with the timings of its Saturday night shows. How many times am I going to have to use the mighty power of the Internet to catch up with Primeval because I’ve missed the first 15 minutes again?

Anyway, it must be fabulous being a professor of “dinosaurs and things” in the brave new world of Primeval. You get to run around with a sub-machine gun with an ever-lasting supply of bullets, shooting at stuff. You get to look at dead animals and rather than say “my, I’ve not seen something like this in the fossil record before. There are so many marvellous new discoveries coming out of the Gansu Province of China these days, aren’t there?”, you can firmly pronounce them the future of shark evolution without the slightest shred of evidence. You get to act like a dopey teenager around the ladies. And you never, ever have to use a comb.

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US TV

Review: Lost 4×1

Lance Reddick in Lost

In the US: Thursdays, 9/8c, ABC

In the UK: Sundays, 9pm, Sky One. Starts tomorrow

Characters re-cast: 0

Major characters gotten rid of: -1

Major new characters: 2

Format change percentage: 10%

It’s been a while since the format-busting finale of season three of Lost. With the exciting addition of flash-forwards, no longer were we in the dark about whether our hapless Oceanic survivors ever get off the island or not: yep, they get off but they’re not happy.

Despite the wait, with help at hand – or is it? – we pick up right where we left off with the new season.

Hands up anyone who thought we were going to get any more answers this episode.

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UK TV

Review: Derren Brown – The System

In the UK: Friday 1st February, Channel 4, 9pm
In the US: Maybe SciFi since they seem to like him

Of late, Derren Brown has become less of a magician and more of a de-bunker. If you’ve read Tricks of the Mind, you’ll know he spends a good proportion of it debunking psychics, astrologers and others, while Derren Brown: Séance did more or less the same thing on a much larger scale, as did his stage show.

Which is nice. He’s becoming The Amazing Randi for a new generation of idiots viewers and probably a more effective one.

Now, he’s turned his attention to homeopathy et al. How did he try to point out the flaws in people’s thinking? By developing a system that he said would successfully predict the results of six horse races – then getting a poor single mum to bet all her money on the final race.

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