UK TV

Review: Newswipe 1×1

Charlie Brooker in Newswipe

In the UK: Wednesdays, 10.30pm, BBC4

I think it’s fair enough to say we do loves a bit of Charlie Brooker round here. I think it’s fair to say that’s quite a common feeling.

But I think it’s also fair to say that he’s spreading himself a bit thin. He’s writing two columns for The Guardian a week; he’s on Have I Got News For You every so often; he’s got his regular Screenwipe show on BBC4; he’s got an upcoming TV reviews show for Channel 4; he’s just finished making Dead Set for E4.

Phew. That’s a lot.

Now he’s doing Newswipe for BBC4, in which he tries to tell you the news of the week, but really – as the show’s title suggests – is really just Screenwipe but dedicated to TV news.

And it’s really not very good. See? Spread too thin.

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Canadian TV

Review: The Line 1×1

The Line

In Canada: Mondays, 10pm, Movie Central/The Movie Network

Imagine The Wire. Better still, watch The Wire on DVD or if you’re in the UK, on BBC2 starting Monday at 11.20pm.

Now imagine The Wire set in Canada. Now imagine The Wire set in Canada and intended as slightly comedic. Now imagine The Wire set in Canada, intended as slightly comedic and written by ham-fisted idiots.

Mental picture complete? Well, you’ve now got The Line.

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UK TV

Review: The Apprentice 5×1

The Apprentice - series 5

In the UK: Wednesdays, 9pm, BBC1

Huh. That’s weird.

Normally, it’s very easy to burble on about the hate-inducing business slime that puts itself forward to be Sir Alan Sugar’s newest puppet in The Apprentice. Well, that’s how they appear at first – by the end of the series, you get to quite like some of them.

This year seems different somehow. Okay, there was the requisite bigging-up by everyone at the producers’ request at the start, with the usual “there’s no joy in taking part, just winning” spiel being spewed out by all and sundry as though they’d had a 100cc injection of pure evil into their veins.

But if you overlooked all that, there was no one truly objectionable. Everyone seems a bit dull. I kind of liked American woman, even if she did seem to say the bleeding obvious a lot; trainee stockbroker was a little annoying; Mona moaned a lot; Phil the geordie seems to be stuck on ‘negative’ the whole time.

Where’s the hate, I ask you?

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The CarusometerA Carusometer rating of 4

Third-episode verdict: The Listener

Time for a third-episode verdict on The Listener, the Canadian TV show that almost everyone in the world but Canadians can watch.

This isn’t a great show. The majority of the acting is bland at best, with no one really infusing their roles with much dynamism (with the exception of the hero’s Turkish best friend). It lacks flair and originality. Scripts come up with events that have to happen and for characters to react in particular ways purely because the script demands they do, not because that’s in any sense realistic.

Characters don’t really have characters, just narrative demands, and anything personal that happens can be predicted miles off with the great big book of sci-fi clichés. Need to convince a trained paramedic you can read minds? He’ll believe you in seconds and not once suspect he has a brain tumour, schizophrenia or had too many weird mushrooms in his lunch.

But it’s not truly awful. It’s obviously got a good budget and there are some beautiful location shots. For a show that’s been pitched from the beginning as an international show, it’s nice to see it’s very clearly Canadian, not some neutered creature like Flashpoint. The characters are Canadian, they don’t try to change their accents and Toronto is the location – in fact, you’d be hard pressed to find an exterior shot that doesn’t have the CN Tower in it and compared with the likes of the “only black if they’re alien” Stargate, Toronto and Canada’s diversity is well reflected, and the roots of our hero’s best friend are used very well.

It’s also quite likeable, with no one being truly bad, although that did start to grate with its predictability by the third episode. But predictability is indeed the watchword of the show. With its formulaic standard plot, the mindreading gift that only allows our hero to hear what’s plot-necessary rather than useful, the insipid romances and the “oh no, I can’t reveal my secret” evasions with the glamorous detective, there’s little here you won’t see coming. The one hint of intrigue and originality is in the hidden memories Toby “the listener” has of his childhood that are slowly being revealed. But way too slowly to avoid the suspicion that their revelation will be anti-climatic and not involve anyone having done anything too bad.

There are more interesting, better shows, although if you do like a syndicated show with minimal development or depth each week (cf Highlander, Friday the 13th), this will be familiar territory at least.

Carusometer rating: 4
Prediction: Will probably last at least a couple of seasons thanks to international sales, but hopefully will expire sooner.

US TV

Review: Party Down 1×1

Party Down

In the US: Friday, 10.30pm ET/PT, Starz

This ‘comedy’ has been sitting, waiting for ages to be made. So long has it been waiting to be made, that the original star Paul Rudd has become famous – too famous to appear in it any more – so now he’s exec producer.

Which is a shame, because at the moment, here’s the tally on the show:

Good things: Lizzy Caplan
Bad things: Everything else

They could have done with two good things.

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