An American’s week at London theatres

It’s always interesting to get an outsider’s perspective on things you take for granted, so I’m going to be sticking with June Thomas’s guide to London theatre on Slate for the rest of the week. Day one takes in My Name is Rachel Corrie, which is directed by Alan Rickman – I’ve already discussed the controversy around this particular play – as well as the Theatre Museum and, of course, the changing of the guard.

Soho celebrity sightings

It’s an exciting game you can all play when you’re wandering London’s media capital. Keep your eyes peeled and score ten points for a movie star, five points for a TV star and one point for a star from any other medium, such as radio or theatre. Double your score if you spot the star inside a building rather than outside. You can also double the score if the person you’ve spotted hasn’t been famous for the last five years. Treble it if they’re in a movie on release at the moment.

As an example, I spotted John Hurt on Broadwick Street yesterday. That means I get ten points for a movie star, five points because he also does TV work, one point for theatre work, one point for radio work and that’s all trebled because he’s in V for Vendetta, making a grand total of 51 points. If he’s done stuff in other media, I can’t think of it right now, so even if he has, that doesn’t count (we’re on Cribbage and Poker rules here).

As you can see, the points can add quickly, so regard them as having a conversion rate of 1 celebrity spotting to 1 Nectar point: in other words, you get £2.50 for 500 points, which can be used to buy a pint, rent a DVD, whatever, when you finish playing the game.

Soho’s definitely the best place to play this, incidentally. Desmond Llewellyn (Q from the Bond movies) once wandered into our offices, convinced we were an audio dubbing suite, and I scored big. Oh yes: the celebrities come to you at Soho – you don’t have to find them.

US TV

Review: The Unit 1×1 – How cool is Dennis Haysbert?

Dennis Haybert: the coolest man alive

Dennis Haysbert: you know him right? He’s been around for ages. I first saw him in Suture, in which he played the absolutely identical twin brother of a white guy – a white guy who didn’t have an eye-patch like him. But he was also the getaway driver in Heat, was the government guy in Now and Again, and is best known as ex-President Palmer in 24 – Palmer being the only man in the world Jack “Harder than Chuck Norris” Bauer respects. He’s a cool guy, basically. But how cool?

I’ll tell you how cool he is. He now has his own show, one specially written for him by David Mamet.

Yes. David Mamet, the manliest of modern American playwrights. If David Mamet had one tenth the testosterone level of his scripts combined, he’d be able to knock out a charging bull with his bare hands. He’s that manly.

But The Unit, as Haysbert’s new show is called, is even manlier than David Mamet channelling the spirit of Ernest Hemingway in a Living TV seance. For starters, it’s based on Inside Delta Force, a book written by the founder of America’s answer to the SAS, Eric Haney. For no doubt a whole host of legal reasons, The Unit isn’t actually about Delta Force, but a thinly veiled version of Delta Force that goes undercover in Afghanistan one day and then on their day off foil hijackings of commercial jets. If ‘The Unit’ could talk, it would have to kill you afterwards.

The show is both good and awful. When dealing with the aforementioned hijacking, it’s very tense and impressive. Blink too many times and the spell that makes you think Scott Foley (Elliott’s ex-boyfriend in Scrubs) is capable of speaking Arabic and knifing people in the throat will wear off, but as tales of daring-do go it’s a lot closer to reality, I suspect, that the fabulous wonderland that is 24. It certainly makes Ross Kemp and Ultimate Force look like a bunch of Nancies.

It also manages to deal with the personal lives of the soldiers in a reasonably uninsulting way, while simultaneously recycling every cliché in the book. We get to meet all the Unit’s wives, who are a mix of the long-suffering, the cheating and the Independent Woman Who Wants Her Husband To Be More Emotionally Involved In the Family And Won’t Be Treated As A Second-Class Citizen By The Army. You know the type.

But there’s simply so much manliness going around, there’s a surplus that can be ladelled out to the wives as well. You could talk about The Unit if you wanted to, but then one of the wives would have to kill you.

Where it falls down quite drastically is when dealing with non-US affairs. Have a look at this picture of Haysbert and one of his comrades undercover in Afghanistan:

Undercover in Afghanistan. Really

Now if you were Afghanistani and you saw these guys in your local pub, would you, even for one second, think they weren’t Americans? No, neither would I. It’s not a fatal flaw – show me one TV series that properly manages to pull off International (don’t even think of saying Alias) – but it’s still more laughable than The West Wing‘s attempts (although not as insulting as Commander in Chief‘s).

If The Unit can confine itself to domestic US operations and maintain the same level of quality as Mamet’s opening episode, it’s going to be worth watching. However, I foresee a certain amount of jingoism in the near future that it’ll find hard to avoid. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for it.

But there’ll be one thing The Unit proves: you shouldn’t mess with Haysbert.

News

Alan Rickman meets Broadway censorship; and Preston from Big Brother finds it’s hard to be an editor

Alan Rickman

A couple of interesting stories in The Independent’s Pandora today. First, but less amusing, is the news that Alan Rickman is fuming after getting his play cancelled by the Broadway theatre that was supposed to be staging it. The New York Theater Workshop claimed Rickman’s filming commitments, among other things, had forced them to cancel the play concerning the death of a peace activist at the treads of an Israeli army tank. But dear old Alan (who was once kind enough to send me his autograph so that I could give it to one of his fans as a birthday present) wrote a strongly worded letter to point out that they were telling a bunch of porkies. Only sounding a little bit like a conspiracy theorist, he said the theatre had caved under pressure from local Jewish leaders (whoever they might be). Whatever the reason, the moral of this story is not to cross Alan.

Preston from CBB

Story two, which is far more amusing, concerns that Preston from the Ordinary Boys, whom most people know from Celebrity Big Brother. Someone at the BBC, whose brain had clearly been infected by some kind of Brighton-based lead paint (it’s the Islington-based lead paint of the South), thought it would be a simply super idea to get him to be guest editor for the BBC South Sunday Politics Show. Well, what do you know – turns out it’s all going a bit pear-shaped: he can’t get any of the people he wanted to show up. Didn’t see that one coming.

It’s always entertaining to see a TV show such as Wife Swap where people are parachuted into other people’s jobs and find they’re not that easy to master in a week – again how surprising? But why are some journalists so masochistic and deprived of self-esteem that they think that their own job is a complete doddle and even the untrained lead singer of ska band could do it? Having guest editors is just as bad as a free DVD in a newspaper – it’s more effort, makes the final product worse and the audience you get is only ever temporary. Forget misplaced ideals of making your show accessible to “ordinary people” (and who are they supposed to be exactly?) – do your job properly and the “ordinary” viewers should follow.

Theatre

Otherwise Engaged

Otherwise Engaged

Just realised that I promised elsewhere that I was going to review Otherwise Engaged, a revival of the 1975 Simon Gray play, starring Richard E Grant and Anthony Head. I’ve been holding off on this one, much as I’ve held off reviewing Broken Flowers, on the general grounds that I didn’t know what to make of it. There are spoilers in it, so look away now if you don’t want to know what happens.

Continue reading “Otherwise Engaged”