Scarlett Johansson in Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Film reviews

What movies have you been watching? Including Ghost in the Shell, Guardians of the Galaxy – Volume 2 and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

It’s “What have you been watching?”, my chance to tell you each week what movies and TV I’ve been watching recently and your chance to recommend anything you’ve been watching. TMINE recommends has all the reviews of all the TV shows TMINE has ever recommended, but for a complete list of TMINE’s reviews of (good, bad and insipid) TV shows and movies, there’s the definitive TV Reviews A-Z and Film Reviews A-Z. But it’s what you have you been watching? So tell us – if you want to live

This week, to cover all I’ve been watching while I was away on vacation in August, I’m breaking up WHYBW into manageable chunks. Yesterday, I dealt with all the boxsets I managed to make my way through and later in the week – probably on Tuesday, now I think about it… – I’ll be looking at the episodes of new and regular shows that I’ve watched, too.

But today, it’s movie time! So after the jump, I’ll be filling you in on what I thought about Ghost in the Shell (2017), Guardians of the Galaxy – Volume 2 (2017) and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016).

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TV Cream's anniversary cassette
Events

TV Cream is 20 years old tomorrow

For those of you who don’t know, TV Cream is one of those annoying things in life (eg, Mark Kermode) that makes me wonder if I should continue doing something (eg, reviewing movies) since they do it so much better than I do. Celebrating its 20th birthday tomorrow, it’s pretty much the most comprehensive guide to Classic (rather than necessarily classic) TV, movies, books, music et al from back when we were all youngsters.

While I used to contribute to sister site Off The Telly back in the day, my sole real contribution to TV Cream was to ensure its guide to The Aphrodite Inheritance was accurate (my guide is still the toppest on the internet, mind). Perhaps because my input was so small, my few brushes with wider fame on Radio 5 and the like have led to nothing, while some of TV Cream’s more important contributors have actually been successful in life. Or maybe there’s some other reason.

Seen a TV clips show? Then you’ll almost certainly have seen TV Cream’s Steve Berry making some cogent comments on it. Enjoyed Adventures with the Wife in Space? That’ll be TV Cream’s Neil and Sue Perryman*. However, that’s far from the site’s full staff roster, so don’t go thinking that’s all there is to it.

Anyway, to celebrate their birthday, tomorrow the site will be unveiling an hour-long ‘anniversary cassette’ that shows what a talented bunch of people they all are, as well as just how many contributions Steve Berry has made to TV clips shows. There’s a couple of trailers below and if you come back here tomorrow, you’ll be able to see the full mix tape in action. I’ve seen it – I wish I was that talented.

* TV Cream tells me that Neil and Sue are best regarded as ‘friends of TV Cream’ rather than contributors

Amazon's The Tick
Streaming TV

What boxsets have you been watching? Including Ozark, The Tick, Sneaky Pete and Pillars of the Earth

It’s “What have you been watching?”, my chance to tell you each week what movies and TV I’ve been watching recently and your chance to recommend anything you’ve been watching. TMINE recommends has all the reviews of all the TV shows TMINE has ever recommended, but for a complete list of TMINE’s reviews of (good, bad and insipid) TV shows and movies, there’s the definitive TV Reviews A-Z and Film Reviews A-Z. But it’s what you have you been watching? So tell us! Ah go on. Go on, go on, go on

As I mentioned on Friday, TMINE is easing its way back into this whole ‘talking about tele’ thing, following a rather long and self-indulgent vacation. But that goes doubly, perhaps even trebly for WHYBW, given there’s been a whole month of entertainment since the previous WHYBW. I’m also still playing catch-up a bit.

So rather than try to tackle everything in one go, I’m going to stagger it all into manageable chunks. At some point in the next week or so, I’ll look at the new shows and the episodes of the regular shows that I’ve been watching; I’ll also do a separate entry on all the movies I watched.

But today, it’s time to go boxset-mad. Yep, left to my own devices (literally) and with a whole bunch of streaming services offering downloads now, I was able to take a few boxsets of TV shows on holiday with me to watch. I didn’t manage to get through all of them, but as well as Marvel’s The Defenders, which I’ve already reviewed, I managed to get through no fewer than three boxsets, some old, some new – and then I only went and watched another when I got back.

After the jump, then, let’s talk about Netflix’s Ozark, and Amazon’s Sneaky Pete and The Tick. Oh, and The Pillars of the Earth, because my wife wanted me to watch it. That’s an old one you’ve probably seen, though.

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The Last Ship goes Greek
US TV

The Last Ship goes Greek. Almost

This season, The Last Ship is going back to basics, returning to a plot similar to that of its first season – a hunt for the cure to a disease, albeit one that’s affecting food plants this time. One big change, though, is that it’s gone to the Med for something billed as ‘Tom Chandler’s own Odyssey’.

Being The Last Ship, they don’t mean that figuratively and this fourth season is based in part on Homer’s Odyssey. Being The Last Ship rather than American Odyssey, they’re also following through on that and making sure you know they’re following through on that, too. As well as initially being set in Greece, there are copious references to ‘the gods’, mentions of Homer, characters called things like Ares, Chandler alternately going around calling himself ‘Noone’ and ‘Hercules’, a journey past the metaphorically crashing rock of Gibraltar (one of the Pillars of Hercules, which is also the name of the second episode), a bunch of modern-day Lotus eaters and even its own version of Calypso/Circe.

To its credit, the show’s actually hired a few Greeks/Greek-Cypriots/Greek-Americans who can speak Greek, which is a step up from The Slap (US), for example. Sure, there’s a few non-Greek speakers who are trying to pass as Greek and who have the crappy accents to match, but for the most part, the dialogue’s correct and even matches what the subtitles say people are saying.

Unfortunately, whoever they’ve got translating everything apparently didn’t get to have a word with the production assistants, judging by the ‘Greek’ in the very important document pictured. Now, said document is owned by a character who’s Greek-American, for sure, but I can’t imagine a scenario where he’d type this nonsense, rather than use either Greek or English.

Take the bottom line: ‘Elaeis virilis’, which is also written as Αγκιέντ Οιλ Παλμ. That’s not Greek, but if you sound it out, you’ll see that it’s supposed to be ‘Agkient Oil Palm’ – ancient oil palm. It’s the same with the lines above it: ‘Αφρικαν Οιλ Παλμ’ and ‘Αμερικαν Οιλ Παλμ’ or ‘Afrikan Oil Palm’ and ‘Amerikan Oil Palm’.

I don’t know what’s going on there. You can type ‘American oil palm’ into Google Translate and get something more accurate in about three seconds (“Αμερικανική φοινικέλαια”). You can’t type ‘Ancient oil palm’ into a PC with the keyboard layout switched to Greek and get what they got either – you get ‘Ανψιεντ Οιλ Παλμ’. So it seems like someone has simply asked how phonetically to get ‘Ancient oil palm’ et all in the Greek alphabet and this is the result.

Which is odd.

Still, at least they’re trying.