Film

Question of the week: should the sexist homophobe James Gunn direct Guardians of the Galaxy, now we’ve seen his Internet poll/pole

James Gunn

Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the “Phase 2” Marvel Universe movies coming out before (The) Avengers (Assemble) 2 – the others being Iron Man 3, Thor 2 and Captain America 2. Hand-picked for the job by Joss Whedon, comic book nerd James Gunn will be directing the movie, which sees a lot of outer space superheroes, including a racoon, fighting against evil aliens. Marvel, as we all know, is now owned by Disney.

So there are the base facts. Let’s look at what turned up yesterday. Although it’s been around for about a year now, James Gunn, who has his own blog, created a poll of superheroes he/we/the Internet would like to have sex with. And it’s a bit fruity, misogynistic, homophobic et al. Here are some choice samples (warning: fruity language alert):

1. Wonder Woman
For the second year in a row, Princess Diana is the big winner. It seems like many guys out there are hoping she’ll lasso their penises and make them tell the truth – which is that they want to be inside of Princess Diana!

3. Catwoman
This supervillain turned anti-hero has been making my penis feel funny since I was four years old and saw Julie Newmar playing her on TV. Today she’s as sexy as ever, especially when drawn by the supertalented Adam Hughes (above).

5. Gambit
My girlfriend voted for this Cajun fruit. I think she’s looking to have a devil’s three way with the two of us. The idea of my balls slapping against Gambit’s makes me sick to my stomach, but I can’t deny the fellow’s pure HEAT, as he yet again placed so high on this list, despite being male and in the presence of so many A-listers. Wolverine and Superman may beat him in sales, but it’s who the ladies love that really matters, and Gambit is the Galactus of Cock!

8. The Black Widow
It’s hard to believe the Russian spy who Tony Stark called “sexual napalm” didn’t even rank last year! Natasha Romanova is the highest debut on the list, and, considering she’s fucked half the men in the Marvel Universe, it’s much deserved.

25. Kitty Pryde
@KittyPryde actually wrote me on Twitter after posting the nominees for heroes you most want to have sex with. I wrote her back, but neglected to mention that I wanted to anally do her. I won’t even mind if Lockheed is in the room, staring at me with a creepy look the whole time. Well, okay, I’ll mind a little. But it will be worth it.

32. Batwoman
This lesbian character was voted for almost exclusively by men. I don’t know exactly what that means. But I’m hoping for a Marvel-DC crossover so that Tony Stark can “turn” her. She could also have sex with Nightwing and probably still be technically considered a lesbian.

34. Batgirl – Stephanie Brown
Being a teen mom and all, you know she’s easy. Go for it.

So, erm, yes. And there are worse ones that. Read the Spiderwoman one (number 37) if you want to look in a dark place (I’ve cloaked it so you don’t have to if you don’t want to):

37. Spider-Woman
The whole time I’m fucking her I can’t get her face out of my mind as the skrull leader who tried to conquer the world. I know it’s not her fault, but I just can’t help it. So I finish on her face to help block out the painful memories. There. That’s better. I love you, Jessica.

Some of it’s actually quite funny and pokes fun at the people who answered the poll (“30. X-23 Another debut, and a pretty good choice. Except, uh, isn’t she supposed to be fifteen years old? And after you fictionally fuck her fictional police are going to arrest you and put you in fictional jail for being a very real pedophile.”) but none of this exactly screams “Disney movie director of a fun film with a racoon in it”.

As a result, there have been calls for him to be removed from the project for being a sexist, homophobe who writes a lot about his ‘pole’. So this week’s question is:

Should a man with suspect views about women and other groups direct a family movie featuring superheroines in case they end up being objectified, etc, or should he be allowed to direct the movie on the general grounds that even though he is a git, other people will be ensuring he doesn’t make the movie a thematic repeat of his blog? Or is part of the problem that if you try to find a director who’s also a comic book fan but who isn’t a sexist homophobe, et al, chances are you’re just going to end up with Joss Whedon again? Are there any female directors who love comics out there (there must be, mustn’t there?)

Answers below or on your own blog, please

Thursday’s “InBetweeners, Emily Owens, Mob Doctor cancelled, new Howards End and a Spartacus spin-off” news

Films

Film casting

Trailers

  • Clip from Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific Rim with Idris Elba, Ron Perlman et al
  • Trailer for Black Rock with Kate Bosworth

Canadian TV

  • CTV picks up Backpackers web series
  • Tom Green to guest on Seed

UK TV

US TV

US TV casting

New US TV shows

New US TV show casting

The Wednesday Play: The New Twilight Zone – A Small Talent For War (1985)

Plays can come in all shapes and sizes. They can be several hours, sometimes even days, or in the case of the new Twilight Zone episode A Small Talent For War, they can be as short as eight minutes.

As remarked previously, Rod Serling’s original Twilight Zone turned in some of the finest works of short drama ever to grace US TV screens. With a revival of Alfred Hitchcock Presents proving popular in the 1980s and a Twilight Zone movie doing reasonably well at the cinema, too, so The Twilight Zone was resurrected for three seasons of largely original scripts between 1985 and 1989. These included contributions from Harlan Ellison, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C Clarke, Stephen King, George RR Martin, David Gerrold, J Michael Straczynski, Rockne S O’Bannon and others, with directors Wes Craven, William Friedkin and Joe Dante all getting a turn behind the camea, too.

One of the revival’s most novel features – for the first two seasons, at least – was to forego the mandatory half-hour or hour-long episode length, with many episodes airing in tandem or triplets with others to make up the full run-time. While it never quite reached the heights of the original, one of the new series’ very finest short pieces was A Small Talent For War, starring John Glover (Brimstone and Smallville) as an alien who delivers an ultimatum to the world. It’s a lean piece of brilliance, entertaining, funny, chilling and in its own way profound. Enjoy!

Dick Heads

Dick Heads: The entire cast of the Hobbit

The cast of the Hobbit

He may be playing a dwarf in The Hobbit, but you can probably tell that wasn’t typecasting for Richard Armitage, given how tall he is in comparison to the rest of the cast. See how many you recognise in this slightly blurry cast photo: I’ve spotted Sylvester McCoy, Andy Serkis, him off The Almighty Johnsons, him out of Being Human and Peter Jackson. Can’t see Sir Ian, Christopher Lee, Martin Freeman, Cate Blanchett, him off The Matrix or Liv Tyler (is she even in this one?), but maybe they’re hiding behind that plane.

Don’t forget to write a haiku if this inspires you in some way.

Got a picture of Richard Armitage’s head, preferably wearing a hat? Then leave a link to it below and if it’s judged suitable, it will appear in the “Dick Heads” gallery.