Third-episode verdict: Alcatraz (Fox)

The CarusometerA Carusometer rating of 4

In the US: Mondays, 9pm ET/PT, Fox
In the UK: Acquired by Watch

Well, normally I hold out until episode three of a show in case it gets better, since usually you can expect some quality change in a show by that point.

Alcatraz, though, has enviable consistency. After a surprisingly dull first two set of episodes, episode three – its explicit ‘origins’ – proved to be amazingly identical to them in almost every way. The procedural element of the show was just a massive plod through gross serendipity crossed with colossal stupidity. We got absolutely no revelations about the central mystery, only more mystery that wasn’t actually that interesting. Parminder Nagra was still stuck in a hospital bed, not saying anything. And the female lead still looked about 16. In fact, she seems to be getting younger.

Beyond Sam Neill and the vague possibility that there’s something good hidden deep inside this mystery, there are no reasons to watch this show. So I shalln’t.

Carusometer rating: 4
Rob’s prediction: Should stagger on until the end of the season at least. Could possibly even get a second season. But it doesn’t deserve to.