The children of Who

FA and DTBlah, blah, blah. Season three starts filming this week. Big press release with gushing stuff from Freema and RTD in all the papers.

The Daily Star – which should perhaps be called the Daily Start Making Stuff Up – has chosen to go one better with a ‘revelation’: next season is going to hint the Doctor has a son.

“Everyone knows that Time Lord’s have 13 lives and then that’s it, they finally die. Since there are only two regenerations left, the BBC need a plan to make sure the show can carry on.”

“So the only way to stop Doctor Who from being killed off completely is by bringing on a successor.”

Apparently, this news flash to the world will appear in the final episode of the season. However, as always with the Star, you have to question just how true this is likely to be, particularly given its ‘source’ continues:

Last year it was hinted that the Doctor had a child following a doomed love affair with someone from a forgotten planet.

Really? I must have missed that. Which episode was that in? Saying “I was a Dad once” is somewhat different from “I had a child following a doomed love affair with someone from a forgotten planet”.

Also, and correct my maths here if necessary, 10+2, no matter which way you spin it, is still not 13. There are at least three Doctors left before it all falls apart – and the Master proved that doesn’t have to be a permanent problem. Since we can be pretty sure there’s going to be at least two seasons per Doctor, following the Eccles Cake® debacle, that’s at least seven years of Doctor Who left before the wheels are going to come off. Even that’s assuming that DT legs it at the end of the third season, which given his obvious relish of the role and that he no doubt has ambitions of longevity to rival Tom Baker’s, I don’t see that happening just yet.

And they’re working on the back-up plan now? What do you think?

Incidentally, just to pre-empt future fans, I will try to claim credit for a Freema Agyeman nickname, assuming no-one’s already done so. In future, if any of her fans describe her as “Sweet FA”, they will have to pay me royalties. I declare that now.

Do I have to pay Stu_N royalties for my repeated use of the phrase “Eccles Cake” to describe Christopher Eccleston, I wonder?