Steven Seagal to appear in the next Orange ad

Mr DresdenOrange are a rubbish phone company. I speak from experience. The one thing they do well, however, is make good commercials. There are all those lovely TV ads, for starters. And then there are those cracking ads in the cinemas, featuring Patrick Swayze, Alan Cumming and co. They can usually be more entertaining than the films themselves.

But for the last few months it’s been Sean Astin and I’ve got bored, despite the great voiceover. I think we all have. I want to hear the likes of “Make me bleed!” again.

Thankfully, there’s a new ad on the way. And fantastically enough, it has the legendary Steven Seagal in it. The full story is at the Media Guardian, but here’s the basic plot:

The ad opens with Seagal attempting to pitch his idea of a new romantic comedy to Orange Film Board executive Mr Dresden. When Dresden spots Seagal coming on to the course he heads for his golf cart and speeds away, and a Hollywood-style car chase ensues. While driving, Dresden rebuffs Seagal’s ideas with the usual ploy of shoe-horning references to Orange and its phone services into the script. Dresden then plays the villain, appearing over the horizon in a black helicopter, and the clip closes with Seagal taking an electronic detonator out of his pocket.

Ah. ‘Twill be a delight to behold.

Author

  • Rob Buckley

    I’m Rob Buckley, a journalist who writes for UK media magazines that most people have never heard of although you might have heard me on the podcast Lockdown Land or Radio 5 Live’s Saturday Edition or Afternoon Edition. I’ve edited Dreamwatch, Sprocket and Cambridge Film Festival Daily; been technical editor for TV producers magazine Televisual; reviewed films for the short-lived newspaper Cambridge Insider; written features for the even shorter-lived newspaper Soho Independent; and was regularly sarcastic about television on the blink-and-you-missed-it “web site for urban hedonists” The Tribe. Since going freelance, I've contributed to the likes of Broadcast, Total Content + Media, Action TV, Off The Telly, Action Network, TV Scoop and The Custard TV.

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