As usual, TV Guide‘s Ausiello has some helpful news for fans of US TV:
In the US, if you want to watch TV shows on the Internet, there’s the iTunes Music Store and numerous free streaming services from all the major networks that frankly, make it pretty easy to watch what you want, when you want it.
In the UK, well, we don’t quite have what it takes yet. Five has just launched its video on demand service and after a couple of experiments, I’d have to say it’s a little lacking.
Let’s compare and contrast. iTunes Music Store: you install QuickTime, you install iTunes (if you have a Mac, you already have those built in so no download is required). Then you go to the iTunes Music Store (US) in iTunes, you find your programme (there are hundreds to choose from now), click the “Buy” button and iTunes downloads it for you once you’ve set up your account, something you only need to do once. It stays in iTunes forever and you can play it on your video iPod as well if you want. It costs about $1.99 (+sales tax), which is a little over £1 right now, to download each TV programme.
Now let’s try the Five web site’s version. First, let’s check the system requirements; I’ve only included the ones that are narrower than the iTunes/QuickTime requirements.
Operating system: You need Microsoft Windows XP or 2000
Web browser: You need Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0
Active X: ActiveX must be enabled in your web browser
Cookies: Cookies must be enabled in your web browser
Javascript: Javascript must be enabled in your web browser
Media Player: Users of Windows XP must use Windows Media Player 10. Users of Windows 2000 must use Windows Media Player 9
Connection Speed: You need a broadband connection of at least 500kbps
System Clock: You need to set the clock on your computer to the correct UK time, time zone and date
Assuming you pass all these requirements, then you can download and view CSI/CSI Miami/CSI New York episodes as often as you like on your PC for 14 days, all for the lovely price of £1.49-£2.49.
Now, obviously Five’s web site has the slight advantage over iTunes in that it works in the UK, whereas iTunes doesn’t – at least as far as ordering TV shows or movies is concerned.
But, somehow, I’m not predicting massive uptake of this. It’s not exactly easy to use. It has an “interesting” set of requirements that shuts out quite a few people. I don’t think many people are going to be interested in a relatively expensive service that stops working after a fortnight. And if anyone does have the skills, etc, to use the service, I suspect they also have the skills, etc to use Bittorrent and get many more US programmes, more quickly, that don’t self-destruct and don’t cost them anything.
I’ve not tried the Channel 4 VOD service yet, because I don’t meet those system requirements either. Oh dear. Try harder British networks!
In the US: Wednesdays, 8.30//7.30c, NBC
In the UK: No one’s bought it yet
Every once in a while, network executives have a sudden epiphany. They’ll suddenly remember that although the 18-24 demographic is pretty cool and all, there’s a whole load of older people, some of them retired, with oodles of spending money and time on their hands. So they commission a programme or two to take advantage of this demographic. But you know, they’re old people. They’re going in the head. What will they know or care about quality?
While’s it’s been a long time since the halcyon decade of greying TV power that ran from the mid-80s to the mid-90s and gave us never-ending episodes of Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder, Matlock, and Burke’s Law, the idea still comes back occasionally. So here we have 20 Good Years, the theme being that “60 is the new 40” and post-retirement, you’ve 20 years left in which you can seriously enjoy yourself again. Nice idea though that is, it’s seriously lacking in actual laughs.
I must confess I’ve been dreading this one. Episodes two and three of Brothers and Sisters have been sitting, winking at me for ages (it airs Sundays in the US), going “You’ll to have to sacrifice two hours of your life to watch us”.
It’s not that it’s a desperately bad show. It’s reasonably well written and the cast is to die for.
It’s just I hate every single character with a fiery passion. All of them. They’re all evil scum who should be put on a Viking longboat, towed out to sea and then burnt in their boating outfits, sweaters still slung nonchalantly over their shoulders.
They’re the kind of people who say things like “I’d rather trust your gut than my MBA right now”. Or complain about how terrible their lives are because their adulterous, pension-fund robbing dad gave them a trust fund instead of direct access to their millions in inheritance. Or because they cheat on their husbands and wives. Or because they’re smarmy, sanctimonious conservative talk TV hosts – who cheat on their fiancés with whoever happens to be nearest to them at the time.
Or… Or… Or. It just goes on. They’re all evil, cheating, backstabbing, self-centred rich people who get kicks out of screwing up their own lives and watching other people get destroyed by the fallout. If all of this in some way had some depth that illustrated something about “the human condition” (ooh, I’m treading a dangerous course towards the Sea of Pretension here), fair enough. It’s not exactly The Great Gatsby of our times, but probably has ambitions in that direction.
But it doesn’t have any real depth or message: at least nothing we haven’t seen countless times before. Ooh, cheating on your partner messes things up: amazing. Embezzling is bad: astounding. Brothers and sisters might argue about things and have chips on their shoulders: searing and penetrating insights. Thanks for that.
Now, if that’s your kind of thing – hey, guess what, it’s not mine – then this is the programme for you. Otherwise, avoid it.
If you’re dying to see some stuff from Torchwood, Digital Spy has some ‘exclusive’ clips for you.
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