UK TV

In the UK: Tuesdays, 8pm, C4

Hard to believe it, I know, but Property Ladder and everyone’s favourite property developer, Sarah Beeny, have been with us for over eight years. With each series of the show, Beeny has regaled us with advice on how to make money from property, using the examples of regular people turned property developers to show us what to do – and more often what not to do.

Typically, the show would run as follows: Beeny turns up on the doorsteps of two developers. The developers tell Beeny what they intend to do. It’s just plain awful, stupid or wrong, so Beeny gives them some better ideas. They still do what they intended to do. They cock up significantly, spending masses more money than they needed to. Then they relent, do as Beeny suggested, and hey presto, all’s good with the world again. Then, at the end, despite the cock-ups and over-ambition, Beeny reveals that "thanks to a rising market", they still managed to make money.

Well, guess what. The rising market has gone. It has ceased to be.

So, you might ask, what’s the point of Property Ladder? Can it survive in this climate?

The short answer is no. However, the long answer is yes, but only if it gets a name change.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Property Snakes & Ladders.

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