Classic TV

Weird old title sequences: It Takes A Thief (1968)

It Takes A Thief

Ah, what tangled TV webs we weave. We’ve done a lot of ‘cult’ American TV shows over the last few months and that gives us a certain set of building blocks to work with. Let’s try joining them all up.

Take Tales of The Gold Monkey. That was created by Donald P Bellisario, who also created Magnum, Quantum Leap and various other shows.

He learnt his craft working with Glen A Larson, creator of Knight Rider, Battlestar Galactica and, of course, Manimal.

Then there was Hart to Hart, which was created by neither of them, but starred Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers. What links all these shows?

Well, it was It Takes A Thief, one of whose producers was Glen A Larson, and which starred the then movie actor… Robert Wagner. Oh, and Stefanie Powers guest-starred on the episode Fortune City.

So that’s Tales of the Gold Monkey linked to It Takes A Thief. Easy.

Actually, I could have done it with Switch, as well, which Glen A Larson created, Donald P Bellisario wrote for and Robert Wagner starred in, but that would have been way too easy. And I’m doing It Takes A Thief this week, so ner.

(God, long intro this, huh?)

Anyway, It Takes A Thief (originally called Magnificent Thief) starred Wagner as cat burglar, pickpocket and thief, Alexander Mundy, who steals to finance his playboy lifestyle. He’s in prison when the US government’s SIA (secret intelligence agency) proposes a deal: steal for the government in exchange for his freedom. He takes the deal and for over two seasons, steals things for his SIA boss Noah Bain (Malachi Throne) – who later turns out to be the police detective who caught Mundy in the first place

Sounds a bit like White Collar, doesn’t it? They’re both the properties of 20th Century Fox. Hmm, coincidence?

Robert Wagner and Malachi Throne

I never watched any of this – way before my time – but I am intrigued to learn that Fred Astaire popped up during the third season playing Alistair Mundy, Alexander’s father who is also a master gentleman-thief. If you want to know more, there’s a lovely Cinema Retro article on it.

But what I do know right now is that it had a weird – but very cool – old title sequence:

“Let me get this straight – you want me to steal.”

Here’s an old promo for it: in case you recognise the voice, it’s the guy who did the voiceover at the start of… The Invaders. See, everything’s linked.

And here’s the entire pilot episode, which I might watch at my convenience, too.

Classic TV

Weird old title sequences: Pipkins (1973-1981)

Hartley Hare

Death. Always a good thing in kids’ stuff, hey? Bambi’s mum dying – that was great, wasn’t it? Ditto Simba’s dad in The Lion King.

Back in the day, there was a TV programme called Pipkins. Or at least, that’s what it eventually became known as. It started as Inigo Pipkin, the main character being an elderly puppet maker called Inigo Pipkin played by George Woodbridge. During the course of Inigo Pipkin, Pipkin brought to life a series of puppets including Topov the monkey and Octavia the ostrich.

However, Woodbridge died during the recording of the second series. In a first for children’s television, Inigo’s death was worked into the programme. From this episode onwards the show was renamed Pipkins, and Inigo’s assistant, Johnny (Wayne Laryea), took over. The direction of the programme also changed, the show no longer centering around a puppet workshop and the characters becoming “The Help People”, helping anyone in need.

Most iconic of all the puppets was Hartley Hare, a very arch hare who loved to be the centre of attention. As this weird old title sequence and series of clips shows you.

Classic TV

Weird old title sequences: Children of the Stones (1977)

Children of the Stones

Back in the 70s, kids TV was full of the weird and wonderful. Whether it was on ITV or BBC1/BBC2 (youngsters: we only had three channels back then), you could come home from school, turn on the TV and pretty much be guaranteed some mentalist of a commissioner had ordered up 25 minutes of LSD-fuelled lunacy that seven PhD students couldn’t decipher the plot of but which was sure-fire certain to scar you for the rest of your life.

We could go through the list without too much trouble for quite some time and still not be complete: The Tomorrow People, Ace of Wands, King of the Castle, Timeslip, Sky, Catweazle, The Feathered Serpent, Escape into Night, The Jensen Code, Raven, Into the Labyrinth, Michael Bentine’s Potty Time, Pipkins, Robert’s Robots, The Owl Service.

See what I mean? And I haven’t even started, really.

One of the most complicated, clever, “scare the sh*t out the kids”, yet hard-to-fathom shows was the seven-part serial Children of the Stones. This followed the adventures of astrophysicist Adam Brake (Gareth Thomas of Blakes 7) and his son Matthew after they arrive in the small village of Milbury, which is built in the middle of a megalithic stone circle. There they meet village squire and noted astronomer Hendrick (Iain Cuthbertson) and possibly the most well behaved bunch of kids in the world, almost all of whom are doing quite well in quantum mechanics at the village school.

As you do.

Yes, there is something rotten in the heart of this village Eden, and it’s not just the quantum mechanics. There are mysterious deaths, Matthew seems to have a psychic link with a mysterious painting, there’s the mysterious stone circle that somehow seems to prevent them leaving the village, there’s the mysterious housekeeper, there’s the mysterious personality changes of anyone who goes to dinner with Hendrick. You get the idea. It’s all very mysterious.

Cue the mysterious, weird and soul-chilling title sequence, followed by the first ten minutes of the first episode.

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Classic TV

Weird old title sequences: Manimal (1983)

Manimal

There was a time when you couldn’t move on US TV for TV shows from the house of Glen A Larson. The Six Million Dollar Man, Battlestar Galactica, Knight Rider, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Magnum PI: all his. He did have a few failures, though: Automan, The Highwayman and Nightman were all his and they didn’t do too well.

His biggest failure was Manimal, which lasted all of eight episodes before being hacked to death. In the majority of Larson’s TV shows, there was an element of fantasy and Manimal probably had the biggest element of fantasy: the wealthy Jonathan Chase (Simon MacCorkindale, now on Holby City) is actually a shape-shifter who can turn himself into any animal of his choice, and uses this ability to help fight crime.

Usually very slowly. Cue the weird old title sequence.

Continue reading “Weird old title sequences: Manimal (1983)”

Classic TV

Weird old title sequences: Bring ‘Em Back Alive (1982)

Bring Em Back Alive

As weird old trends go, circa 1982, there was a big one on US TV: it was “We wish had a TV programme like Raiders of the Lost Ark“. So just before everything went techno with Street Hawk, Knight Rider, Airwolf et al, everything went 1930s. Odd, huh? As a result of this trend, as well as Tales of the Gold Monkey, US networks tried to cash in on Raiders with Bring ‘Em Back Alive.

Loosely based on the legendary wild animal collector Frank Buck, Bring ‘Em Back Alive saw big game hunter Frank Buck fighting dastardly Eastern spies in pre-war Malaya from out of the Raffles Hotel bar in Singapore, while dressed impeccably – or in a pith helmet and shorts – depending on the situation.

The show featured rising star Bruce Boxleitner, who went on to Scarecrow and Mrs King and Babylon 5 fame, and Cindy Morgan, who played Gloria, the US consul. Despite their almost romantic relationship, Gloria gets Buck to go on all his spying missions, where he typically comes across a damsel in distress who needs saving – in the first episode, that would be Gloria:

Hey trivia fans: Morgan and Boxleitner both appeared together in Tron the previous year:

And were reunited this year for the Tron: Legacy viral event:

As well as Boxleitner and Morgan, the show starred Clyde Kusatsu as Ali, Buck’s friend and No. 1 Boy (huh?); Ron O’Neal as HH, His Royal Highness, the Sultan of Johore, who was Buck’s competitor in the world of adventure; Sean McClory as Myles Delaney, manager of the Raffles Hotel; and John Zee as GB Von Turgo, smuggler and kingpin of the Singapore underworld. That’s all in the titles, so you know who’s who.

The plots were varied, but typically saw our Buck out and about in the East, moustache groomed nicely, braving wild animals and dastardly foreigners to preserve US interests overseas. I say “the East” but it was mostly shot on the back-lot of Columbia Picture Television’s Burbank Studios, with the Raffles Hotel built on the studio’s ‘New York Street’. Scenes that required an actual jungle as background were filmed in Hawaii and the Los Angeles Arboretum. Overall, it was as much like Singapore as Casablanca was like Casablanca, however.

With ‘Frank Buck’ based on a real person, the producers did go to some length to recreate certain aspects of Buck’s life. Buck’s compound was recreated from original photographs of his Katong headquarters and featured pictures of his parents hanging on the wall, as well as the flag of his home state, Texas.

It was diverting and fun stuff – not too taxing, but with a certain charm, although it didn’t quite manage to capture the charm of Raiders, so only lasted 18 episodes. But it lives on in memories if not DVD box sets unfortunately.

Here’s the weird old title sequence. You don’t get a whole load of salutes to camera and character descriptions in the titles, these days, do you?