Audio and radio play reviews

Review: Doctor Who – The Wishing Beast/The Vanity Box

The Wishing BeastThere is a certain truth to the idea that what you can imagine is a whole lot spookier than what can be shown on-screen. With the minimal budget available to the Big Finish team, you’d have thought they’d have taken advantage of that simple premise to do their best trying to spook us with sound effects, rather than trying to pretend that battles between giant robot transformers sound good.

Hang on, they’ve tried spooky with Sapphire and Steel. I can understand their reticence now.

Anyway, they’re giving it another go with this slightly intriguing tale, in which two old ladies try to grant a wish for that amazing adventurer in time and space, Mel – and her companion, the Doctor – with the help of their pet dragon The Wishing Beast. There are ghosts. There’s a vacuum cleaner. And it alternates between silly and threatening.

Oh yes, it also comes with The Vanity Box, a one-episode play better described as Doctor Who: The Coronation Street Years.

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Audio and radio play reviews

Review: Doctor Who – Valhalla

ValhallaFirstly, can I just ask, “What the Hell happened to the Big Finish web site?” Have a look at it: it’s horrible!

Putting that to one side for a moment, though, does anyone actually look forward to the Sylvester McCoy releases? Just before I’m about to listen to one, I always feel like I’m in that Revels ad – you know, the spoof of Deer Hunter – and someone’s pre-loaded the bag with toffees.

For one gleaming moment, though, it looked like I was going to get a coffee-flavoured audio play with Valhalla. No Sophie Aldred. Good. Sylvester McCoy playing the Doctor all quiet and melancholic, with scarcely a word beginning with ‘r’ in sight. Excellent. Hints that we’re going for season 25 or 26, rather than 24, with the Doctor having a cunning plan up his sleeve from the beginning. Excellente.

Then, oh dear. Mango-flavoured.

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Audio and radio play reviews

Doctor Who: A potted eighth Doctor guide

Paul McGann as the Eighth DoctorWell, Poly asked for it so here’s the definite but brief guide to the televised/audioised adventures of the Eighth Doctor. Basically, the TV movie and the Big Finish stories. I’m steering clear of novels, web animations, et al.

I’ll try to keep the reviews very brief, and hopefully you’ll all benefit from knowing the peaks and troughs of the first and only Scouse Doctor Who’s adventures.

I’ll start off with the TV movie as an example: don’t bother unless you watch it with the sound down, you’re drunk, you just want to see Sylvestor McCoy shot or you want to watch fanboys froth as they try to explain how the Doctor is/isn’t half-human.

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Review: Sapphire and Steel – Perfect Day

Perfect DayOn the face of it, writing a Sapphire and Steel story shouldn’t be that hard. You can more or less make it up since there are no real rules. The less you say about what’s going on, the spookier and more interesting it gets. The more alien you make the heroes, the better. Ideally, you should make it a four-hander involving Sapphire and Steel, maybe a five-hander if you bring in another element. And the plot should be about regular humans doing something more or less normal and then time deciding to pick on them for no reason.

Simple, huh? (Well, probably not. Cf Adventure Five, the only TV story that wasn’t written by PJ Hammond).

And yet the Big Finish team never do it. Instead of following those simple guidelines, they always populate them with half a dozen extra characters, and have to have some moral tale in which time decides to break in because gay people are forced to hide in the closet or someone doesn’t realise that death is inevitable and can’t be wished away. And, like some “very special episode” of Blossom, Sapphire and Steel have to learn something about “what it is to be human”.

Have a guess what happens in Perfect Day.

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