US TV

CSI: Miami – Horatio’s in 18th Century love

He’s got the name for it, so why should it be so unexpected that CSI Miami‘s Horatio Caine is in love – 18th Century style.

Horatio in Love

Horatio’s just proposed marriage (sorry, UK viewer, but I just had to ‘spoil’ you there. Relax. You know exactly how it’s going to work out). Ah. How lovely. But do you think it odd that he’s proposed marriage to a woman he’s not even been seen to hug or kiss once? Her holding his arm (above) just after he proposes to her is the most intimate those two have got in the half-season they’ve been together.

Weird, huh? Now clearly actually having to show signs of affection would both stretch David Caruso’s ‘acting’ abilities and be a sign of weakness that all the other boys in the 10th grade would mock him for. In fact, it would be almost impossible for criminals to respect Caine if he’d actually been seen to kiss a woman.

But I think in this modern day and age, we could cope with the occasional embrace at least. At the moment, Horatio’s acting more like a creepy squire, marrying his young ward to inherit her estate, rather than a fiancé.

Still, at least they haven’t quite sunk to the level of Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold, in which Sharon Stone runs around after her fiancé, the eponymous Allan Quatermain, shouting ‘Quatermain! Quatermain!’ (you’re going to get married, soon. Call him Allan, love). That would be bad.

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Prison Break resumes its plummet into absurdity

Ah. I am so gratified. Prison Break sounds like a stupid idea, right from the get-go: man commits crime so he can get sent to the exact same prison as his brother, the same prison he designed and whose plans he has tattooed on his body. How dumb is that? Nevertheless, over the past season it’s done it’s lovely best to fix the obvious flaws in its set-up.

But this week’s episode proved magnificent in terms of returning us back to its initial level of implausibility again. Because this week, the evil “Company” everyone kept talking about that we all thought was the CIA, turned out to be something even better. It’s a secret group of multinationals that secretly and in secret run the entire world! They appoint politicians, judges, everyone!

Magnificent. Now all it has to do is beat CSI: Miami to take the title of silliest but most engrossing show on US television. That’ll take some doing though.

UPDATE: I’m watching last night’s episode of CSI: Miami right now and “Ryan Wolfe” just asked a woman out on a date. He invited her to a Mexican wrestling match! Prison Break has nothing on this!

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UK TV

Review: Doctor Who – 2×2 – Tooth and Claw

Tooth and Claw

Ah, that’s a bit more like it. Only a couple of slack moments and a not totally convincing bit of CGI but otherwise, ‘Tooth and Claw’ was classic Who:

  1. Good plot with a load of made-up science
  2. Good dialogue
  3. Good supporting cast
  4. Lots of running around corridors
  5. A companion running around with nothing to do but escape after being captured and ask, “What’s going on Doctor?”
  6. A scary monster
  7. A research scene where they work out how to kill the monster
  8. Lots of people dying

And they had some wu shu-ing monks and a reference to Jamie McCrimmon. Cracking. What more could you ask for from Doctor Who?

Incidentally, wasn’t David Tennant good? No more companion overshadowing the Doctor. Mr T totally wiped the floor with Ms P. Ah, just like the good old days. Talking of which, it’s the Sarah Jane and K9 episode next week. Can’t wait.

Couple of extra things. Number one, I’ve turfed up an interview in my MP3 collection of David Tennant explaining his love of Who and his Big Finish work. It was actually done while the Christopher Eccleston series was airing, amazingly enough. Email me if you’d like to hear it (note: it wasn’t me who did the interview, so you won’t get to hear my dulcet tones).

Number two: I’m in Wales at the moment. My lovely wife wanted the house to herself because she had three of her friends coming down for the weekend. So I’ve upped sticks to the mother-in-law’s and have spent the day cutting hedges, creosoting fences, mowing lawns, uncovering hedgehogs (Ahhhh!), climbing into lofts, moving heavy things and a whole lot more. So now I’m a funny pink colour from over-exposure to sunshine. Curses. Outside bad. Inside good.

But if you’ve never watched Who in Wales, it’s very entertaining. Short of having a man in a red rugby shirt signing at the bottom, there’s almost nothing more they could have done to make it clearer that this was “Made in Wales. God man! That’s cowing lush!”. They even have a little placard with an announcer at the beginning saying “Made in Wales by BBC Wales”. In Wales. That was Wales. Sorry, did I mention that it was shot in Wales?

Incidentally, I have no idea if that headline is accurate Welsh. Despite my best intentions to learn Welsh, I’ve been unable to find an Instant Welsh book, those Instant books being about the only language-learning books I get along with. So my Welsh stops somewhere south of the numbers one to six. Don’t, therefore, quote me on the headline, but I think it means “Welcome to Doctor Who”. Which is pretty meaningless of course. Oh well.

UPDATE: Further thoughts – Another ‘classic’ point was the TARDIS didn’t turn up at the right place or the right time, which is always refreshing. But all that Torchwood stuff is starting to hack me off and doesn’t make a lot of sense at the moment. Yes, we get it, there’s a spin-off called Torchwood coming.

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