A complete archive of The Medium is Not Enough’s reviews of TV programmes since 2005
He’s got the name for it, so why should it be so unexpected that CSI Miami‘s Horatio Caine is in love – 18th Century style.
Horatio’s just proposed marriage (sorry, UK viewer, but I just had to ‘spoil’ you there. Relax. You know exactly how it’s going to work out). Ah. How lovely. But do you think it odd that he’s proposed marriage to a woman he’s not even been seen to hug or kiss once? Her holding his arm (above) just after he proposes to her is the most intimate those two have got in the half-season they’ve been together.
Weird, huh? Now clearly actually having to show signs of affection would both stretch David Caruso’s ‘acting’ abilities and be a sign of weakness that all the other boys in the 10th grade would mock him for. In fact, it would be almost impossible for criminals to respect Caine if he’d actually been seen to kiss a woman.
But I think in this modern day and age, we could cope with the occasional embrace at least. At the moment, Horatio’s acting more like a creepy squire, marrying his young ward to inherit her estate, rather than a fiancé.
Still, at least they haven’t quite sunk to the level of Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold, in which Sharon Stone runs around after her fiancé, the eponymous Allan Quatermain, shouting ‘Quatermain! Quatermain!’ (you’re going to get married, soon. Call him Allan, love). That would be bad.