In the US: Fridays, 9/8c, ABC
In the UK: Not yet acquired. Any bets on Living?
“Ah, women,” the senior network executive thought to himself. “So beautiful, yet their heads are filled with thoughts of pink things and butterflies. Yet they are an important demographic since so few of them have jobs, and therefore spend their time in front of the television all day.”
He smiled benevolently at the young male network executives gathered around him at his Private Men's Club For Private Men. They were there to learn the important arts of programme development.
Leaning forward, he began to impart his wisdom. “Fortunately, there is a simple Formula for creating a television programme that all women everywhere will want to watch. Do not deviate from it. Do not change it. It must be the same. If we can fill an entire network like Oxygen full of shows made to this single recipe, we can do the same with ABC. The Formula is strong.”
He looked from eager face to eager face. “Take a genre, any genre. Women love crime, so that's always good. Take a group of friends, all of them excellent at their jobs, yet somehow not properly respected in their workplace by their male superiors and colleagues. Give them relationship issues then insist that they discuss their relationships at all times, even when working, to the extent they'd probably get fired in the real world. Women like the idea of female solidarity. They can identify with women who are practically perfect in every way, yet have problems just like you and…” He paused and smiled, “…well, not like me.”
Sycophantic laughter echoed round the room, opening up holes in the cloud of cigar smoke that surrounded them all.
“Then,” he said pointing dramatically and paused yet again for effect. “Make them work so hard that soon, all the men will realise their mistakes and learn to love them for the wonderful, beautiful, strong women that they are. Women love that rubbish.”
He reclined into his chinchilla skin armchair. His computer had already generated the next show to use the formula: Women's Murder Club. It was pure genius. Just like the last 70 shows to use the Formula.
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