Ha ha. Fooled you. That's obviously Sarah Lund from Danish TV's The Killing, not the US The Killing. This is Sarah Linden from US TV's The Killing.
See? Easy mistake to make. They even have similar sweaters.
That's not all. You see, it seems a vast batch of carbon paper has been sent over to the US (and Canada) of late. You may recall my complaining that the US-Canadian remake of Being Human, in which a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost houseshare, was practically identical to the British original. Well, in comparison, this remake of the Danish version of The Killing makes the Being Human remake look like it was really about five talking rabbits in sombreros on a cycling tour of Kenya, because we have here something that, bar the fact it's in English and there have been a few, very slight name changes and alterations to dialogue, is a frame-for-frame, note-by-note remake of the original - because they even use the same music. Yet, somehow, it's not quite as good. Good, just not quite as good.
Cue the trailer that might seem a little familiar to those who have seen the original
Bonjour, tout le monde! Welcome aboard previous Engrenages (Spiral) lovers and hello to all those of you with a The Killing-shaped hole in their Saturday night TV schedules and thought you'd give a French TV series a try.
Yes, after months of our collective breath holding, Spiral is back with typical high-powered BBC4 advertising - a brief trailer after last week's The Killing - ready to make us all go "WTF? No, seriously, WTF? That's seriously how France runs its justice system?" again at Canal+'s answer to The Wire. All our old favourites are back: Laure, the captain of police, consummate cock-up artist and lover of brutality; Pierre, the handsome ambitious prosecutor; Roban, the ambiguously sexual, fair but draconian judge; Gilou, the over-emotional prosie-loving detective; 'Tin Tin', the cipher; the wonderfully evil, foul-mouthed red-headed lawyer Karlsson; and that weird chief lawyer who looks like a lizard. He's odd-looking. It's the eyes, isn't it?
To accompany us on our ride into darkness, we also have the usual gruesome scenes, blanket misogyny, prissy subtitles, police corruption and rule-breaking, and eye-opening sub-plots that we've come to expect from Spiral - as well as a new singular image to illuminate and potentially define a whole season. In season one, it was women suffocated by transparent plastic; in season two, it was Aziz setting fire to people in cars in the banlieues; in season three, it's a handwritten sign: "Fermé pour pédophilie."
Here's a slightly low quality trailer in French for the first two episodes:
In the US: Sundays, 8pm ET, Reelz Channel. Starts 3rd April In the UK: Thursdays, 9pm, The History Channel. Starts 7th April
GCSE History empathy essay (by the writers of The Kennedys, aged 16) Please write about the Kennedys, from the 1930s through to the 1960s. Try to show the ambitions of the family and their attitudes to the presidency, the Second World War and especially John Fitzgerald Kennedy's father, Joe.
It is 1960 during the presidential election campaign. JFK is running for office and he looks just like he does in those paintings you see of him. When he talks, he has a normal mid-west accent, I think, because although I've never heard JFK talking, I can't imagine he would have a memorable or distinct accent.
"Hi, Jackie, my back hurts," says JFK. "Can you help me to become president? Although it's close, I think I am likely to win and become a significant politician if you do."
"Certainly, JFK," says Jackie, who looks exactly like Katie Holmes but dressed in pink. "But first I must have my baby."
Joe Kennedy enters with Bobbie. Both are Irish so are Catholic. Bobbie talks with a strange Boston accent. I don't know why.
"Hello, my brother who is running for president," says Bobbie. "Can I help you?"
"You'd like that and so would your wife, wouldn't she?" snaps Joe in an English accent, since Irish people from Boston are very like English people, I am told. "However, I am a domineering father and I will not let that happen." Then he turns to his elder son and grimaces. "Hello, JFK," says Joe. "I am not very glad you are going to become president since I always hoped I would be president and when that didn't work out, I hoped my eldest son would become president. But he died during the war and now I hate God and you will have to do. Grr."
Joe remembers 1936 which was before the war, when he was an ambassador in Europe. He remembers it perfectly.
"I will become president by taking over from Franklin D Roosevelt," he says, looking just a little bit younger. "I will do this by ensuring that America does not enter the war that will happen in Europe in just a few years' time and give many speeches without permission saying Germany is good."
He then remembers the speech. Young JFK, who does not look much like older JFK, is watching the speech that he gives. He is not happy.
"I do not think this is a good idea. It will mean my father will not become president one day," he says. He is very wise and is both fearful and worried about his father, who is domineering.
"Be quiet. You are rubbish," says his older brother, who does not think much of his brother. "I will become president instead and you will not. Except if I die in a plane crash during the war and you will get lots of medals in the navy and have to take over from me, which will never happen."
Six months later, after many dinners, Joe cannot run for presidency because his wife said so. Then his eldest son dies. So he says to JFK, "You will run for Congress and you will have to become president because my eldest son who is dead cannot do so."
JFK is unhappy but he knows that he must become president.
Here's a trailer of what happened when they filmed that particular GCSE History essay as a $30 million TV series that almost no TV network in the world would touch with a barge pole.
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A UK media blog focusing on the best scripted TV from around the world, with daily news, views, exclusive reviews and good conversation. There's a bit of a bias towards the latest and greatest US TV, but we also cover Scandinavian, Canadian, European and Antipodean TV, as well as UK TV ranging from new Doctor Who to old Z Cars, and BBC4 to S4C.
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I'm Rob Buckley, a freelance journalist who writes for UK media magazines that most people have never heard of, although you might have heard me on Radio 5 Live's Saturday Edition or Afternoon Edition. I've edited Dreamwatch, Sprocket and Cambridge Film Festival Daily; been technical editor for trade magazine Televisual; reviewed films for the short-lived newspaper Cambridge Insider and the equally short-lived Death Ray and Filmstar magazines; written features for the even shorter-lived newspaper Soho Independent; and was regularly sarcastic about television on the blink-and-you-missed-it "web site for urban hedonists" The Tribe. I'm freelance now and have contributed to the likes of Broadcast, Total Content + Media, Action TV, Off The Telly, Action Network and TV Scoop.