I'm back. I think. Let me check.

Yes, I'm back, returned from the birthplace of Zeus and frequent haunt of Noel Edmonds. Gone from 37ºC down to 17ºC in one fell swoop with only a mild tan as compensation. Curses.

As you might expect, I got through plenty of books on my sun lounger and I thought I'd give out a few awards to them.

The "worst book written since we evolved from slime molds" award: Run, by Jeff Abbott
"Why don't I try one of those holiday reading books? That'll be fun," I says to myself as I trawl through Waterstone's in my lunch break. "Ooh, 'The Bourne Identity for the 21st century'. That should be good." Oh, how mistaken can one man be? Don't get me wrong - it has a cracking plot. Absolutely ludicrous black ops/secret organisations/man caught up in the middle of it all rubbish, but it does get through the requisite thrills and spills in its allotted span. It's just that yes, up and down the country, there are slime mold writing groups that can come up with better dialogue and better written paragraphs than Jeff Abbott can. Physically painful to read at times, it's also bound so cheaply that a clump of pages fell out before I'd even got to the end of the book.

The "Really? He's still writing them?" award: Making Money, by Terry Pratchett
Not having read any Pratchetts in about 15 years, I thought I'd tune in to see what they were like these days. Turns out, the joke count's about the same, but the number of pages in each book appears to have tripled in the last 25 years so oddly less satisfying. Some interesting ideas, but 'Adora Belle' could do with a few more dimensions. I suspect this was a sequel of sorts, too. Not bad though.

The Whimsical Alan Bennett novella award: The Uncommon Reader, by Alan Bennett
Really rather lovely book about what would happen if the Queen suddenly became an obsessive reader. As much a comedy as a treatise on the power of the written word to change people.

The Socrates award for corrupting the nation's children: Gods Behaving Badly, by Marie Phillips
After being enjoyed by all, our paperback copy got placed on the reading exchange pile for others to enjoy. Whereupon it was picked up by a 13 year old girl. We tried to stop her and warn her that it wasn't for innocent kiddies, but… How do you take your hemlock, Marie?

The Déjà Vu award: Angry White Pyjamas, by Robert Twigger
Not that I've ever been to Japan to train in aikido with the Japanese riot police, but I spent the whole book thinking "Christ. This is all a bit familiar." It turns out that martial arts instructors and students are pretty much the same all over the world - ie full of characters, some of them quite nutty. Great fun though, particularly if you're a martial artist of any variety. Just sort of peters out at the end, though.

The ridiculously overwritten but still interesting award: The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver
Lovely wife and I both agreed that while this Sliding Doors style plot was very interesting - there are two chapter twos, etc, to investigate what would happen depending on a particular choice - the whole book should have been half the length, except Lionel Shriver's verbal diarrhoea took over and made it slightly tedious to read. Ended up having to explain what "ersatz", "geodesic", "fungible" and "obsequious" mean to poor lovely wife whose sun lounger came without a dictionary for some reason. Plus, show don't tell, Lionel. It really is so important.

It's competition time again! Woo hoo!

On offer this time is Nicholas Knight's Supernatural - The Official Companion Season 2, which as you might suspect, is a "companion" guide to the second season of Supernatural. Here's the promo blurb:

This official companion is packed with exclusive interviews, photos, behind the scenes secrets, a complete episode guide, plus a color portrait gallery of the stars.

This season 2 official companion features a foreword from producer/director Robert Singer, plus an abundance of exclusive comments and content from series creator and executive producer Eric Kripke. There's a complete season two episode guide, packed in with exclusive interviews, and dozens of photos, including a 16-page color portrait gallery, and behind-the-scenes secrets, including a Meet the Crew section on the writers, editors and make-up designers.

Fans will also find detailed features on the characters and creatures from the show, including a closer look at Creepy Clowns, and you won't want to miss our 22 useful hints for aspiring monster hunters!

Indeed. 

It's pretty much what it says on the tin, here. As with any licensed book or magazine (not just Titan's), you'll find nary a word of dissent or suggestion that any episode was not in fact the best thing to happen to the human race since Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden – each building on the previous glorious episode until the Rapture of the finale. 

All the same, it's not half bad for what it is. One page bios on supporting actors aren't going to tell you very much at all, and the useful facts about monsters are one of those filler concepts that have been crammed into genre books since practically the dawn of television. But you get some behind-the-scenes facts that are quite interesting, as behind-the-scenes facts go, and you learn about how the story arcing was done, how it progressed, how budget limitations changed it and so on. 

At £9.99, it's possibly a bit pricey for a softback book that's predominantly black and white with a few colour photograph pages. And the writing style is possibly a bit young for a show that's aimed at slightly older teenagers and young adults. But if you're a big lover of Supernatural and want every possible nugget of info possible about the show, it'll do what you want. 

To win a copy of the book, all you have to do is leave a comment below before the 31st May (that's two weeks away), explaining why you deserve it more than anyone else – the most deserving plea will get their pristine copy posted to them ASAP. Or you can just try to amuse me: that'll work, too.

Apologies to overseas readers, but again, the competition's open only to UK residents, since I can't be airmailing these things on my budget. I'm not made of money. 

You can find out more about the book or buy it from Amazon.co.uk.

Read other posts about: Supernatural

Pay close attention, gentle reader. At the end of this, there's going to be a competition – a first for this 'ere blog – in which you're going to be able to win an actual real thing that you can own and that will arrive through the post, rather than through a Superpoke on Facebook.

But first, a question. Who do you think a novel based on Primeval would be aimed at? I ask this because I have a copy of the first in Titan's new range of Primeval novels and I'm slightly curious as to the thinking process behind it.

Primeval is something of a family show, going out on Saturdays, nice 'n' early in the evening. Yet, Shadow of the Jaguar is definitely not something you should be giving to the kiddies.

Continue reading "Review: Primeval - Shadow of the Jaguar"

Read other posts about: Primeval

I started "Movies You Should Buy" (now called "Movies You Should Own" because I belatedly realise it rhymes with Alex Cox's old BBC2 film strand, Moviedrome) with The Satan Bug. Lovely "killer virus" movie that – probably the first. 

But there was a bigger and better "killer virus" film to come, one that marked the end of many of the trends The Satan Bug seemed to start – or at least coincide with.

The title of this movie, which you should definitely own, is now used by virus researchers whenever they want to put a name to their worst nightmare: a virus that they can't cure but is utterly contagious and can kill anything in a frighteningly short space of time. 

It's The Andromeda Strain and it's probably the best, clever-stupid "killer virus" movie ever made.

Here's the title sequence, complete with scary arse theme tune.

Continue reading "Movies you should own: The Andromeda Strain"

Read other posts about: 24

Just in case you're curious, here are some mini-reviews of the books I managed to make my way through during my holidays

First Among Sequels
The first of probably many new Thursday Next books, it's endlessly inventive but feels very much like the set-up for the rest of the series.

The Pig That Wants To Be Eaten
Probably the most rubbish book on philosophy I've ever read. Maybe I'm 'too highly trained' or something, but it seemed blindingly obvious with its dilemmas, less than watertight with its arguments and too airy-fairy to be of use to anyone.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
A bit tat really, but some nice pay-offs.

The Surgeon's Mate/The Ionian Mission/Treason's Harbour
I was on a quest of sorts, you see, in Waterstone's, looking for Aubrey-Maturin books. But there was nothing to be seen. But then my companion called to me. “Honey! Look!” he says. “The Dear knows you was partial to naval fiction and there is an entire bookcase for all of them.” I looked and - ho! - it was true - he wasn't playing the Merry Andrew nor was he as drunk as Davey's Sow. And on their covers, glittering like all the jewels in Araby, was written “3 for 2”. I need to buy the next ones.

Status Syndrome
Interesting, but a bit like reading an epidemiological study, rather than a book.

The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel
Sort of the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Bond novels. Surprisingly good and faithful to the originals, it just manages to steer clear of being fan fiction.

Hmm. Did I read anything else? Let me think...

Cult TV: The Golden Age of ITC

by Robert Sellers

Anyone interested in the history of British television will be aware of Lew Grade's company, ITC. Dominating the 50s, 60s and 70s with shows such as The Adventures of Robin Hood, Danger Man, The Saint, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet, The Prisoner, Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), Jesus of Nazareth, and Sapphire and Steel, ITC was a production powerhouse, the likes of which we'll probably never see again.

Robert Sellers book, Cult TV: The Golden Age of ITC, attempts to chronicle at least some of that history. With a foreword by Sir Roger Moore and an afterword by Gerry Anderson, the book includes interviews with many of the shows' surviving stars and production staff and provides some insight into their continuing success as cult television, even if it's not the perfect .

Continue reading "Cult TV: The Golden Age of ITC"

Read other posts about: ITC shows, Sapphire and Steel, The Prisoner

Brian "Son of Frank" Herbert and Kevin J Anderson are putting the finishing touches to "Dune 7", aka the latest cash-in book in the Dune series. I'm really getting sick of these.

The ostensible explanation for these books is that Frank Herbert, the author of Dune, had huge numbers of notes for his books sitting around in safety deposit boxes. Herbert Jr and Anderson found them and together, have been putting flesh on them to create new novels that fill in the gaps that Herbert was probably going to fill himself.

Now, fair-dues, the last three books of the original series weren't great and even the second and third lacked the spark of Dune itself, but with each new book these two produce, the quality average keeps going down. So far, they've written a series of prequels set in the early origins of the Dune universe, a series of prequels set just before the original series of books and a collection of Dune short stories.

But what's noticeable is just how bad these books are.

Continue reading "Yet another Dune cash-in book arrives"

I've signed up for tickets for The F Word, Gordon Ramsay's cooking and chat show. Unlike the BBC's tickets request service, this required filling out about a dozen questions, including “Favourite Chef” (Gordon, of course), “Favourite meal ever had” (Bradley Ogden's at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. That was some tasty food) and profession (see how well “Freelance journalist” goes down).

Continue reading "Gordon Ramsay's manly recipes"

Read other posts about: Gordon Ramsay

If you've not picked it up yet, rush off to Amazon to buy the paperback version of John Pilger's Tell Me No Lies, a collection of the best of investigative journalism from the last century. Pilger has rooted around to find articles that exposed terrible injustices and secrets that are now common knowledge, thanks to the efforts of hard-working journalists. Equally importantly, they are pieces that have stood up to the unforgiving power of hindsight, which can so often reveal something that once had power as being naïve and shallow in the context of history.

It's hard to single out any one piece as being the highlight, when there's Martha Gellhorn's eye-witness accounts of Dachau, Edward R Murrow's indictment of McCarthyism (re-enacted in the forthcoming George Clooney movie Good Night and Good Luck), and Seymour Hersh's famous exposé of the massacre at My Lai. But it's at least a fitting tribute to Paul Foot that his investigation into the Lockerbie cover-up should be included in the volume.

Strangely, Woodward and Bernstein's Watergate coverage, the most famous piece of investigative journalism ever, doesn't make it into the volume because it was “detective work” and didn't “bear witness and investigate ideas”. This seems a poor excuse, although the piecemeal nature of the Watergate investigation meant that it wasn't prone to long analysis or good writing – it was just solid, outstanding news reporting.

If you don't like Pilger, this is still worth a read, since there's only one article of his in the book: Year Zero, one of his many exposures of the iniquities of Cambodian life during the 1970s. And even his greatest detractors wouldn't object to that particular piece of altruism.

Read it: it'll remind you why journalism is still important. If it stops, as Pilger's prologue hopes, anyone becoming a journalist so they can be the next 3am girl and instead points them on the same career path as Robert Fisk, et al, then all the better.

If you haven't already, pick up a copy of Watching the English from your nearest bookshop. It's an attempt by a professional (English) anthropologist, Kate Fox, to analyse the English and English behaviour.

While it's a bit repetitive, she does manage to make explicit most of the implicit rules of social behaviour in English society. This is sometimes amusing, mostly enlightening and occasionally irritating, mainly when she highlights things you've already noticed. It is well worth a read, particularly if you're English and think that some of your behaviour is “natural” and the “way everyone is”. Is should also help foreigners avoid making various faux pas and help English readers be more tolerant of those that do.