The F Word, of course, is a much better version of Nigella's Nigella, which was train-wreck TV. It could do with some better editing and while Giles Coren is mildly amusing and entertaining in his reports, his banter with Gordon is painful. I was expecting to want to punch him more, with his Islington hair cut. But I don't, which is a minor miracle.

There are more subtle differences between Nigella and Gordon, not just in terms of the pain she can inflict when trying to talk to normal people, rather than her dinner party set. We have both Nigella's How To Eat (Sarah's copy) and Gordon's Gordon Ramsay Makes It Easy (my copy) in our house.

Nigella's is waffly rubbish: twittering musings on her wonderful, wonderful precocious children and her fabulous lifestyle (which she's entirely not worthy of, of course). There's another punching target, if ever I saw one (and I used to like her so much in the early 90s!). Interspersed are the contractually obligated recipes, but it's clear she'd much rather have had more talk about those children.

Gordon's, however, is manly. He has manly recipes. Each recipe takes two pages: a big, clear ingredients list; simple instructions; and a picture of Gordon. What more could you want or need? Except for a DVD of Gordon showing you how to make them! Brilliant. That's a recipe book.

Ha! You can tell which one we use more, can't you?

Gordon's chocolate fondants are very simple and go down a treat, let me tell you, as does his chateau briand. My stab at Nigella's spaghetti carbonara went well but needed so many ingredients (which Nigella always has to hand because it's the best fast food, don't you know?) that I might as well have bought ready meals at half the cost.

Thumbs up Gordon. Thumbs down Nigella.